That night, I received a call from home telling me good luck and it caused me to not get enough sleep. To which Viktor slept with me in the same bad. He laid on top of me as he slept, I couldn't sleep in the end. During warm up, he told me to not do jumps and I did jump. He wasn't happy with that and it drove my nerves crazy. My emotions started to grow in worry.
In the back, I turned off all the Tv's and to block out whatever the announcer said. My anxiety was growing with each passing moment. My fragile heart was beating quickly as I heard Chris go on to perform. I was stretching when he went on and I didn't notice the cameras behind me filming. So Viktor took me to the parking lot to ensure or help me to stay out of reach of other people. I sadly seemed to lose even more confidence as I felt myself breakdown slowly from the inside out. Phichit-Kuhn was next.
Viktor couldn't think of anything to help me calm down. He had no experience on how to handle these events and was left with little choices. I took out my headphones and heard the announcements for phichit-kin, Viktor covered my ears and told me not to listen. He proceeded to break my heart by saying that I don't get a spot on the podium, he would stop being my coach.
Tears fell as I released these hidden emotions inside of me. I explained what I wanted from him, he listened. Though we had to head up since it was almost time for me. When we reached the rink, we weren't looking at each other and my eyes were still red from crying. Refreshing was the word as I have never cried before performing. I managed to trick him into touching his hair and patting it. To console his thoughts on me, after today I might show my true self.
I thought he was mad at the then. Possibly crying at the best or worst. He ran towards the opening to which we meet. He made the move to kiss me. I was surprised and I liked it. We landed on the ice as I stared lovingly into the eyes of the man I so desire to show that he is mine.
