I have English first period, English is my least favourite subject at school. After the taunting in the hallway I just want to go and hide. But I have to endure Mr Smythe and Shakespeare, I sat at my desk daydreaming and doodling in my English book. "Mr Ratliff what's the answer?" my teachers voice broke through my dream. "Erm Sherlock Holmes?" I said as the classroom erupted into peaks of laughter. "No Mr Ratliff Romeo did not date Sherlock Holmes, I would appreciate it if you actually listened in my class, that is unless you want to fail this class" he told me as I flushed red.
The bell rang for the end of class as everyone filed out, I headed towards my locker to change my books over. "Hey gayboy your hair looks good today but it's missing something" Tyler said. " Oh really, what would that be then?" I questioned. "This" he replied as he poured juice over my head, I stood frozen to the spot as sticky blackcurrant juice dripped down my hair. They put the cup on my head and laughed, everyone in the corridor laughed as I ran into the bathroom.
I squeezed the juice from my fringe and put my hair under the tap. Cold water ran over my head as I washed the juice out, I grabbed a towel and rubbed it dry. It was now sticking up in all directions, Adam walked in and glanced at me. "Forgot to shower this morning?" he asked fluffing his hair up. "Nope got a shower of blackcurrant from Tyler" I answered.
"That guys a jerk, why don't you kick his ass?" he said, "Because its easier to not fight with him Adam" I answered. "You should kick his ass, im not joking. You want me to do it for you?" he questioned putting his hand on my shoulder. "No Adam please just don't" I said shrugging his hand off my shoulder and walking out of the toilets. It wasn't the fact that he touched my shoulder, its the fact that I couldn't lie anymore. I was in love with my best friend and it wasn't right.
Later that day....
My maths lesson was coming to an end, as the bell rang for the end of school I headed to my locker. I heard a thud as I was thrown into a locker, I slid to the floor as Tyler yelled fag at me and walked up the corridor. I sat on the floor stunned for a second before I heard heeled boots coming towards me, "Hey TJ what are you doing on the floor?" Adam asked. "Tying my shoelaces why?" I asked as he knelt down next to me.
He looked into my eyes as though he was searching for something, I really hoped he couldn't see the pain in them as I kept mine locked to his. He had no idea how much I loved him, his phone rang as he broke his gaze with me. "Hey babe, yeah im just leaving school now. Wont be long hot stuff love you" he said. I sighed and pushed myself up, Sauli.
I watched Adam climb into the car, "Well you coming?" he asked. "Im going to walk" I said, "No get in come on its going to rain" Adam insisted. I climbed in as Adam headed in the direction of my house, I sat in silence the whole drive. I couldn't deal with all these feelings for Adam, I couldn't deal with Tyler and his taunting. It broke me to know that no one would be bothered, I felt like a lost child heading for a swirling pool of sadness.
Adam pulled up outside my house, "Are you ok TJ? You've been quiet the whole way home" he said leaning on the steering wheel and looking at me. "Nothing Adam I need to just go. I need to get home and have my dinner. I need to go, have a good night with Sauli and thank you for the lift" I said holding back tears. "TJ look whatever is wrong you can tell me" he said putting his hand on my knee. "I just need to go Adam" I said climbing out, "Text me TJ, you know im always here for you" Adam said as I nodded and ran inside.
"Hey mum im home!" I called dropping my bag to the floor and heading upstairs. "Hey you good day at school?" she asked standing at the bottom of the stairs. "Yeah it was ok" I choked out, "What's wrong Tommy?" she asked. I kept my back to her "nothing im tired that's all, I've kind of got homework to do" I said my voice cracking. "Ok then well dinner will be ready in 10" she said, she didn't sound to convinced with my explanation as she muttered something and walked back into the kitchen.
I ran into my room and collapsed onto my bed, the tears I had thought so hard to hold back flowed freely down my face as I sobbed into my hands. I was completely aware my eyeliner was dripping down my face in messy streaks but I didn't care. I heard a soft tap at my bedroom door as my mum popped her head in. I tried to cover my sobs but she had heard them, "Oh Tommy what's happened?" she asked rushing over to me and wrapping her arms around me as I cried into her shoulders.
She was wearing a rose coloured blouse but she didn't seem to bothered that it was now covered in black splodges. "Everything mum, I cant handle this. All these feelings and the taunting at school" I said in between sobs. "What do you mean these feelings? Feelings about what? Taunting? Are you getting bullied Tommy?" she questioned stroking my hair. "About Adam, mum he's my best friend. But I don't want to be his friend, I want to be his boyfriend. Mum Im in love with my best friend" I explained.
"And the bullying?" she said. "Yes mum they call me horrible names and shove me into lockers. They tipped juice down me today and shoved my into the locker" I said. "So you're what gay? And you love Adam, doesn't he have a boyfriend?" she said looking at me. Her green eyes sparkled as they met mine, "Yes mum that's why it kills me so much, I love him and I cant ever with him. Now im being called gay boy and fag and shoved about for it" I said.
"Look Tommy I know it hurts but it will get better. Adam is still your best friend, he always will be. As for these bullies, stand up for them and be proud of who you are. So you're gay, who cares me and your dad will always be behind you 100%. Now wash your face and come eat ok baby" she told me kissing my hair...
