pyromania // phan

8

i was falling for phil, whether i liked it or not.

and he was falling for me, i could tell. not to be egotistical about it or anything, but i know. with phil, his emotions are displayed like an open book. it's not very difficult to tell he feels something for me. neither of us made a move on the other, for reasons we didn't know. i knew my reasons; but his reasons were unclear to me. maybe he was just nervous?

either way, i visited the shop everyday. we sat and talked and laughed about everything; his backstories, my awkward growing up stories that didn't have anything to do with my pyromania, his story about his first job. we even broke out into song at random times, which was his request. he would start singing and he'd get me to join in, and we would sit there and belt our lungs out until a customer arrived.

today, december 18th, was when he made a move on me.

we sat in the shop, me sitting cross-legged on the counter and him in a spinny chair in front of me. he swivled back and forth, looking into my eyes as he talking about something that happened to him on the way home yesterday. we didn't really worry about any customers coming in. today was wednesday, and wednesdays weren't usually busy for the shop.

"...and there was this squirrel, and it attacked me! see?" he showed me a few claw marks on his wrist, and it was cut pretty deep.

i winced a little looking at it, laughing a bit as he looked offended at my wince.

phil spun suddenly to look at the calendar, then back at me.

"dan, do you know what's coming up soon?" phil asked with an excited grin lighting up his face.

i shook my head, though i knew what he was about to say.

"christmas!" he yelled, and he stood, breaking into song all of a sudden.

"i don't want a lot for christmas, there is just one thing i need..." phil motioned his arm to me, and i rolled my eyes, continuing.

"and i..." i carried on the 'i' as he sang the next line.

"don't care about the presents underneath the christmas tree!" i wasn't going to lie; phil's voice was actually very pretty. it could a little higher than a normal guy's voice would go, but he is always a strong baritone. it suits him well.

we continued on, us singing and him dancing, until phil was terribly singing the high mariah note, and we were belching out, "all i want for christmas is youuuuu!"

and before the last time the chorus played in the song, phil grabbed my hands between his and looked me in the eyes. he sang softly, as my voice just decided to stop from surprise.

"i just want you for my own..." phil stroked my hands with his thumbs and looked me in the eye. he sang the song much, much slower and lower than it actually is.

"more than you could ever know..." phil sang to me, his voice sweet and light like candy in my ears. he brought his face ever so closer to mine.

"make my wish come true," phil sang in my ear, changing the higher note to a lower note so that the sound worked out just fine. shivers ran down my spine slightly.

"all i want for christmas is you..." phil trailed off, looking me in the eyes, then down at my lips. he came closer to me, and to my surprise, i felt my own head moving towards his with no resistance.

i had every reason in the world to stop.

no, dan, don't do it!
it will never work out!
you're just playing yourself!
stop it while you're ahead!

correction. i had every reason in the world to stop, except for one:

i was falling for phil, whether i liked it or not.

i met him halfway, my lips colliding with his. it was gentle, but firm, and all there was in the kiss was passion and patience, two very different things.

his hands slid up to cup the sides of my face in his palms, and i placed mine on the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me.

in that moment, there was one thing in the world that i felt, more than passion, or bashfulness, or even a little regret;

need.

i felt need.

•••

the chapter is sort of short, but there's fluff so yee
i had a lot of fun writing this chapter :)

i love you all <3
-kay xx