pyromania // phan

11

this was posted dec. 27, 2016, 3:21 PM
hello!
please read this before reading chapter:
1.) big t.w.
2.) i would suggest pulling up the song "hold my liquor" by kanye west on spotify or youtube before you read this chapter. if you would like to immerse yourself into the story, i would suggest listening to the song when you get to a certain part of the chapter. i'll have "start" in bold letters and underlined, and that's when you start the song. just a little extra i guess idk
if you read fast enough, you should be able to have the most intense part of the song go along with the most intense part of this chapter, which is basically the end.
enjoy the final chapter of pyromania.

•••

need.

it's a powerful word, need.

what i find interesting about need is that it is never fully satisfied. want, however, can be fulfilled. need cannot. need is a very nagging feeling. it bothers you and bothers you until you give it what it desires. yet, it is never satisfied, and it will only want more. the need for something never ends.

and whether it be the need to light things on fire or the need to stay away from the fire, it still never ends.

but it sure can start something.

•

2 years later
unknown pov

that night of december 24, 2024, or on christmas eve and the night of him and his husband's anniversary, dan howell had a nightmare.

it was black all around dan. as the dream started, he could sense something was chasing him, and he immediately picked his feet up and ran.

his heart pumped terribly hard, the pulses running through his entire body. his legs were moving faster than he thinks they ever have. his lungs had already felt like collapsing, yet he'd only been running for a few seconds. part of the shock came from the fact that he was exercising -which is something he never does-, but also because there was something coming after him; and he could tell it wasn't anything good.

because of his dream, though, dan's energy seemed infinite as he pushed his legs beneath me to keep moving. he could sense the being -the monster- chasing him, coming ever so closer to catching him.

dan's dream self felt far from fine. anxiety and fear riddled his dream self's conscious. he felt absolutely terrified. however, his real self felt absolutely calm, as if nothing was chasing him afterall. there was a little voice... a single sentence that his real self kept telling his dream self:

"it will all be okay."

once he fully understood the sentence, dan nodded. his breathing heavy and his energy slowly decreasing, he slowed his running to a stop. he bent over and put his hands. on his knees and panted, trying to catch his breath.

dan heard the voice again, and his breath caught in his throat:

turn around.

he stood back up straight, breathing slowly. dan shut his eyes. in, out, in, out, his heart pounds and his breaths being heard. the quick and fast pace of his heart slowed to a soft, steady thump that echoed in his ears. dan felt the fear flood from his being. replacing this hole was a feeling. a feeling he knew hadn't been present for a long time now:

need.

keeping his breathing steady, i turned around, and his body immediately went stiff and his heart dropped to his feet. he was face to face with a furious, raging fire.