Together

Chapter 14

Katniss P.O.V.

Peeta sits down on the couch beside of me. I turn my head and look away from him. He takes a few deep breaths like he's going to say something, but finally gives up after a few tries.

Instead, Peeta gently rests his hand on top of mine. I still don't look at him. More tears fall and I furiously wipe them away with my free hand. Without saying a word, Peeta leans in sideways and uses his thumb to gently dry my tears. He then leans in and presses a soft kiss to my cheek before standing up off the couch and starting upstairs.

I grab a blanket off the back of the couch and lay down. I don't even try to sleep, and after a few hours I get up to go check on Willow. When I reach the top of the steps, I see Peeta sitting on the floor in front of Willow's door. I quickly change my route to our bedroom, but Peeta's voice stops me.

"That was the first time I've actually spanked her," Peeta says. I don't turn face him, but I do move my head enough to see him out of the corner of my eye. "I know we've smacked her hands or legs before, but this is so much different."

"Why did you do it then?" I ask him as I finally face him. "I mean I know why she needed to be punished, but did you really have to spank her?"

Peeta gives me a look. "Are you kidding me?" he asks. "Katniss, do you realize how dangerous that was for her to do that? What if she hadn't went to Haymitch's?  What if she was still out there? She would've froze to death by now."

I turn my head away and swallow hard. "You still didn't answer my question," I say.

"Do you honestly think that a smack on the hand or me raising my voice at her would stop that from happening again?"

"I don't know," I say truthfully. "But just because you spanked her doesn't mean she won't do it again."

"No, but she's more likely to remember that it's wrong."

I don't say anything else. I just turn and go into our bedroom. I try to go to sleep, but it doesn't happen. It's not long until I hear Peeta's footsteps going back down the stairs. I wait a few minutes to make sure he's not coming back, then I quietly go over to Willow's bedroom. I sit down on the floor beside of her bed and lay my head down beside of hers.

She opens her eyes and start whimpering. "Mama."

"Shh. You're okay, baby girl," I say as I move her hair out of her eyes. "Go back to sleep. Mommy's right here." She starts fussing and reaching out for me. "It's not hardly time to get up yet," I tell her.

She starts bawling and, of course, I pick her up. I sit her down in my lap and she curls up with her head on my shoulder. I start to rock us from side to side, and it's not long until Peeta comes to check on her.

"Oh," Peeta says when he sees me. "I heard her crying. I didn't know you were in here." He turns and walks out the door, but I quickly stop him.

"Peeta, wait!" I call out. I sit Willow back down in her bed, but she reaches for me again. "Mommy will be right back," I tell her. I go out into the hallway and Peeta turns to face me.

"What?" he asks.

"We need to talk," I say as I shut Willow's bedroom door.

"We'll talk in the morning," Peeta says. "Right now we both just need some sleep."

"No, Peeta. I don't want us to go to bed aggravated at each other. We need to talk. Please."

"Okay," Peeta replies as he nods his head.

I take a deep breath. "I know you don't understand why this is so hard for me, but-"

"Of course I understand, Katniss," Peeta says, cutting me off. "Do you think that was easy for me? Before you came up here, I sat in front of her door for over an hour listening to her crying until she finally fell asleep. Do you think I enjoyed that? Katniss, that about killed me."

"But you still did it."

"I had to!" Peeta yells. "Shes almost two years old, Katniss! She has to learn that she can't do whatever she wants without there being consequences, and I knew you weren't going to do anything about it!"

I just stare at him. It's been so long since Peeta's yelled at me. Sure he's used an angry tone or raised his voice a bit, but it's been years since he's actually yelled at me.

After a few seconds, Peeta's tense muscles start to relax. His face goes from red back to its normal color.

"You're right," I tell him. "Maybe we do need to go to sleep." I turn to go back into Willow's room, but Peeta gently grabs my arm.

"Katniss, I'm sorry," Peeta says softly.

"It's okay," I tell him, but I still don't look at him.

"No, it's not. We're both stressed out right now, but that doesn't give me the excuse to yell at you like that."

I look at him. "I've always had a hard time when it comes to getting after her. Scolding her is one thing, but smaking her hands and spanking her…"

"I know," Peeta says. "But one of us has to do it, Katniss. You can't get mad at me everytime this happens."

"Mama!" Willow cries.

"I told her I'd be right back," I tell Peeta. "I guess she's tired of waiting." Peeta nods his head and lets go of my arm. I go back over to Willow. "Momma's right here, Willow," I say as I sit down on the floor. She reaches for me and I shake my head. "You gotta go back to sleep," I tell her. "Mommy will stay right here with you."

She eventually gives up and lays back down. I lay my head against her bed and finally drift off to sleep.

I wake up when I feel something tug on my hair. I look over to see that Willow is trying to move my hair off her bed. I laugh and sit up.

"What are you doing, silly?" I ask her. She points to my hair and looks at me. "Is that not supposed to be on your bed?"

She shakes her head and reaches out for me. I pick her up and carry her downstairs. I take Willow into the kitchen where Peeta is setting the table for breakfast.

I don't say anything. I just go over to him and wrap my arms around him. It takes him a few seconds, but he returns the embrace.

"I'm sorry about last night," I mumble into his chest. "This is just really hard for me."

"It's okay," Peeta says. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

I smile at him. "It's already forgotten," I say. He kisses me and pulls me in close.

"You have to understand why I did that," Peeta says.

"I do," I say truthfully. "I promise I understand. It's just something that I have to work on. But you have to promise you'll only spank her when she really, really needs it."

"Of course," Peeta says sincerely. "And you have to promise not to get as mad at me the next time. Deal?" Peeta asks.

I laugh and nod my head. "It's a deal."