Maybe This Time

Bigger Braver BOLDER!

"Good morning, sweetie." My mom greeted. She was cooking and according to my super nose, I think its chocolate chip pancakes. My favorite. Yumm! I hurried towards the kitchen. "Hey Mom." I smiled.

"Breakfast?" She offered. I was already opening the fridge and poured myself a glass of OJ. I inhaled and savoured the delicious smell of what my mom is cooking. "Yes, please." I answered beaming at her as I sat on one of the stools on the counter and took a sip of my OJ.

"Do you have school today, Jejay?" asked my 3 year old brother, Bode. If he isn't so cute, and my brother, that I love ever so dearly, I would soo hit him on the face for bringing that up. Don't imagine me doing that though. If there is one thing High School taught me, its violence. Gore violence. I always imagine everyone in school dying a painful death.

I mean I do know that it is infact the first day of senior year. But did he really need to slap that on my face? I sighed.

"Yes, Bo. I do." I answered and offered him a small smile. I watch him munch his pancake, probably not even hearing what I just said. He smiled as he try to stuff all of the pancake he had left, in his mouth. He is soooo cute, and adorable and cuuuute!

"Here you go" Mom handed me a plate with a smiley face chocolate chip pancake. Looking at it, I smile, too. "Thanks, Mom." I said sincerely, my eyes watery.

Yes I am this emotional, because I hate school. No wait, I loathe school. If I could, I dont wanna go back to LE High ever again. But I have to, and it sucks.

The people in LE High are the same people who bullied me since grade school until middle school. Since my x-bestfriend Oliver left. And I dont wanna see them. I dont wanna hear any more of their bulllying lines. Though, it has been better since High School. I couldnt be a loser forever, so I started fighting back and protected myself. I cant depend on someone to protect me because I was much of a loser that I didnt even have friends.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She asked and watched me carefully.

I snapped out of my thoughts and gave my mom a warm smile and shook my head. I finished my last bite of pancake and drank my OJ. I grabbed my backpack, my hoody and my keys.

"I gotta go, Mom." I wrapped her with a warm hug. "Thanks." I murmured against her hair. "I love you sweetheart." She whispered back. I pulled back and kissed her cheeks. "Love you Mom!"

"Bye Bo. Love you" I kissed Bode and he giggled.

I stepped out of our house and the sun greeted me. Good thing about Texas, it is always nice. It doesn't get really cold even during the winter. I hate the cold, and I just love the sun! One of the many reasons I didnt consider moving in with my Dad in Alaska. I may hate most of the people here in LE, but this place is where I grew up, unlike Oliver, I treasure this place way too much, I will never walk out of it.

I climbed on to my truck and revved the engine. I turned on the radio to my favorite station before backing up, and Avril Lavigne's Here's to Never Growing Up was on. I instantly sang along as I drove off.

It was a short drive to school, I was at the parking lot as I pass by Aimee's car where she and her boyfriend Alex are making out like there is no tomorrow. What a nice view. Geez, haven't they had enough making out during the summer?

I parked next to a yellow beatle volkwagen because I know for sure this is the place where my truck belongs. The loser part of the parking lot. It doesn't really matter to me. As long as my truck wont be bullied too, then I'm good.

As I turned off the engine, I clutched my steering wheel real hard and took in a very very deep breath. This is it. My first day in senior year, and its my last year in High School. Joy. My misery will end soon. "You can do this Zoe." I convinced myself. I took a quick glance on my rearview mirror, I see familiar hazel eyes, spots of freckles on my nose, and a tint of lipgloss on my lips. A smirk was forming on it, and I say "Fuck yea! Let's do this!"

I pulled the hood of my hoody over my head and I hopped out of my truck. I was heading my way to the main entrance when someone pulled my hood from behind. "What the fuck?" I yelled. And I see Aimee smiling like a fuckin evil bitch chewing a fuckin gum and i just feel like tearing her tongue out and let her bleed to death. "The fuck do you want, Aimee?"

"Really? a hoody? You think that's gonna hide your loserness?" She asked, and I swear to God watching her talk and chew that fuckin gum is disturbing.

"Oh, now that you're done with your car sex, you suddenly care about what I wear?" i spat back.

"Atleast I have a boyfriend, I know someone wants me so fuckin bad. Unlike you, your loser meter is at its peak Zooey." She is so dumb she cannot even pronounce my name properly. But, I decided to let this one go. Aimee fuckin Johnson is so not worth my time right now.

"Whatever." I said lazily and walked away. But this doesn't stop her from talkin.

"You know you'll never get a boyfriend with that ugly face, right?" She snikered. "LOSER!"She yelled. What a lame comeback. After all the years that I've been bullied, she thinks that she could hurt me with that one. Ha.

"You're a virgin arent you?" She smirked. "Hey everybody! This girl right here is a virgin!" She shouted. loud enough for everyone else to hear. Now I'm the center of attention. Some of the guys were laughing and pointing at me. Girls were giggling and making fun of me. Some showed concern but are too scared to speak up. People were talking. Thats it. You asked for this Aimee. I turned to look at Aimee and gave her a smile.

"Atleast I am not a sex slave to anybody Aimee. Really? You think Alex wants you? Where is he now? He's not even gonna walk you to your class? Hold your hand, maybe? You really think being fucked over and over again by someone who wouldn't even look you in the eyes while doing it is something to be proud of? Because I say its dirty and disgusting." I walked closer to her so I was facing her. "Well, if you ask me, I'd rather be a fuckin virgin loser, that be a hopeless sexually abused slut." I finished. I didnt wanna fight back, really. But I couldn't let her do this to me for the rest of the year. Now maybe she will shut up.

And I was right. Because she opens her mouth, then closes it. Then as stubborn as she was, she stomped her way to the main entrance, ignoring the people laughing at her. People were Ooooh-ing and Woahhh-ing. These people are so stupid. I still feel a bit guilty for saying all those words. But I have to fight back because I have to show these people that I am not that little girl they push around anymore. I am not JJ anymore, the weak and bullied little girl. I am Zoe Jane Anderson, and this the new me. Bigger, Braver, and BOLDER!