Maybe This Time

Oliver Freakin Williams is back.

I was sweating, and trembing and my heart is about to explode. My alarm clock is ringing, and I didn't shut if off hoping that if I listen to it more, it would help me wake up from this huge nightmare!!

7:00, it flashed. The sun is brightening my room, and it is blinding my eyes. It is already 7in the morning and I haven't slept yet. I couldn't even close my eyes, because when I do, I see Oliver's face. Remember when I told you about that fear of being wounded again? Well, it is happening every time, I shut my eyes close. I see his face, and it feels like the many years I've spent trying to heal that wound he gave me, had gone to waste.

Oliver Freakin Williams is back. I know, I tend to make everybody's middle name "Freakin". But anyway, thats not the point. The point here is he is back! He is back from God knows where, doing God knows what. And he is back for GOd knows what reason! This is really frustrating. Why would he come back? ANd what did he mean by fixing things this time? He already left. Whats done is done. He left without telling me about it. And worse, he left just after I told him my feelings!!

Oh my God!

That's right. I almost forgot about the confession. I am so screwed. Will he be going to school? What if I see him? Will he still be the same? What if I really did scare him off before? What if he doesn't wanna be friends anymore, because of what I did? But I think that shouldn't matter. Because he's ajerk. and I don't wanna be friends with him anymore. He ran away from me. He left me for no good reason. He didn't even care about what I will feel. He just left. He knew I was a bullied kid, but still he left me. He left me alone. I had a depressing childhood since he left. But I refused to be homeschooled because I hoped and waited for his return to school. But he never returned. 

Not until now.

---

Because of too much thinking, I lost track of time, and got out of my room at 8:20. My mom was still feeding Bo when I got to the kitchen. She watched me with those hazel eyes full of concern. I gave her a small smile, and started grabbing some snacks from the pantry. 

"You don't look so good. Are you okay? Have you had enough sleep?" She asked. My mom is such a mother! I dont know if that made any sense. If it didn't, just forget I said that.

"Uh, yea." I answered, pouring some goldfish crackers into a ziplock baggy. Popping some inside my mouth. Nomnomnom.

"Zoe, sweetheart, I know Oliv..." 

"MOM!" I interjected. She looked taken aback from my reaction, but I know she understood what I felt. I sighed. "I'm sorry." I continued. "I just don't wanna talk about it." I said, shoving my snacks into my backpack. 

I went to give my mom a hug, and Bo a kiss, and bid my goodbyes.

"Love you." I said, before heading for the door. But before I could turn my back, my mother spoke.

"Sweetheart, just don't let it affect you too much. Ok?" She said ever so motherly. I so love my mom. If there is someone who knows me real well, it's my Mom. She really is the best.

I nodded and gave my mom a sincere smile.

--

I was in school just in time for the first bell. I hurried to my first class, constantly worrying about bumping into someone like Aimee Johnson. But Thank God and all the angels in heavens, I made it to my first class before the second bell rang. 

Levi's face lightened up when he saw me, and he flashed his crooked teeth. What a great way to start my day. Just like that, all the worries and fears are gone with the wind.

I smiled back at him, and sat on my seat. Mrs T started with her lesson for the day as I started doodling on my notebook. when suddenly the door cracked open, and someone came in. Tardy.  That would've been me, if I didnt hurry awhile ago. This must me Brittany, because I noticed that her seat next to me is empty. Maybe she took too much time making out with her boyfriend Kyle at the hallways. I dont even get why they need to do that every minute of everyday. It's disgusting. Imagine constantly mixing your saliva with someone else's. Ew. GROSS!!