Maybe This Time

Another Fight

The day went pretty fast and my last period was over before I knew it. I havent seen Levi, Kristy or Oliver in between classes. But I have a feeling I'll be facing Oliver soon, because I'm giving him a ride plus we have that ice cream date.

I'm not sure how exactly I should face him because of how I acted during lunch. Knowing Oliver, I am 100% positive that he will ask questions. If he does, what should I say? Of course it'd be easier if I'll be honest. But who am I kidding? I can't be like 'Oh I dont know Oliver, probably because my feelings for you is starting to resurface and it feels weird to see you with Kristy as if sliding down the rainbow with a bunch of butterflies and unicorns!'

That'd be weird. And creepy. And inappropriate!! God. I am so not doing the same mistake again. I wont lose my bestfriend again because of this stupid feelings. No no no. Delete. And delete again on the recycle bin. Gone. Good.

So if he asks, I'll be casual. I'll say I was tired. I'll be calm. Okay. I inhaled deeply and exhaled, blowing my bangs.

'Be calm Zoe. Its only Oliver. Just be casual. Act normal.' I muttered to myself as I walked out of my classroom. I was the last one to get out since I took a lot of time contemplating on how to face Oliver.

'Just act cool. Act cool.' I continued to chant, walking down the hall.

"Why are you talking to your self?" Said a voice behind me and I jumped. I think my heart just stopped.

"You!! God. You should atleast give a girl some warning before you do that!" I said, my voice shaking.

"I am so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm soryy." He chuckled as he wrapped me into a comforting hug. But instead of slowing, i think my heart started beating faster.

"You okay?" He asked as he pulled back slowly. I nodded as I leaned against the wall and tried to slow my breathing.

"So are you gonna tell me why you were talking to yourself?" He asked, smiling.

"Uhm. I was just. Uhm." I swallowed nervously. Goddamnit, get a grip Zoe!!

"Damn. I must've really scared you. I'm sorry JJ." Said Oliver.

"Yeah. Uhmm. What are you doing here anyway?" I asked and we started walking.

"I was waiting for you." He answered casually. I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. I know something really stupid was gonna come out of my mouth but before I could stop myself, I said, "Waiting for me??" I asked, my voice a little too high.

"Yea? Why does that surprise you?" He asked, confused.

"Are you sure you weren't waiting for anothet blonde. Prettier. Hotter. Smarter. Oh i dont know, like Kristy, maybe? Or what do you call her? Kris? Was it Kris?" I said sarcastically.

So much for acting cool. Now I'm just being too cool -- I'm being COLD.

Oliver just narrowed his eyes on me, as if looking at me suspiciously. Uh-Oh.

"Yes, I call her Kris. And No I wasn't waiting for her." He answered slowly, confusion still evident in his face.

"Ah. So you're on nickname terms now. She's nice, huh? And pretty. You two should date. You look so good together. Best couple i could ever imagine. You should totally ask her out. Yeah. You definitely should. I have her number. You can call her like right now. I mean y'all are getting along very well. Maybe you should go out with her now instead of me. Right? Maybe we should cancel the icecream thing. You should..." Before I finish my rambling, Oliver stopped on his tracks and held my arms.

"Hey. Hey. Whoa. Stop."

So I did. I stood there with him, face to face. Beads of sweat were falling down my forehead. I smiled nervously.

"Zoe Jane, what on earth are you talking about?" He asked, annoyed.

"I.. Uhm.. I just thought, you know. You probably would rather hang out with her. To get to know her better." I said, and started walking again.

He grabbed my arm again, and pulled me to face him again. He looked me straight in the eyes, and asked. "Okay what the hell is going on?"

"Come on Oliver! I'm not blind, neither am I stupid! I know you like Kristy. Its pretty damn obvious." My voice was louder than I expected.

He just stood there, and stared at me. At that moment, It felt like it was deja vu and flashbacks of that night at Karla's birthday party when we were ten, played in my mind. At that point, A strong sense of fear flushed through me. What if he runs away now?

But he doesn't. He just stared right back at me. He was mad. I can tell from the seriousness in his eyes.

"Fine. Maybe I do like her."

Ouch.

"She's smart, and funny, and pretty. So yeah, maybe I like her. But that doesn't stop me from hanging out with you, JJ." He said never breaking eye contact.

"Dont you get it? I dont want to be a constant burden to you! You and Kristy deserve each other, and I dont wanna be in your way. I dont want you holding back from a girl like Kristy because of me! Just go hang out with her rather than have some lame ice cream dates with me!" I explained. Tears were threatening to come out. I tried my best to hold them back.

He was taken aback from my statement. He watched me carefully, and I feel like this conversation is not going to end well.

"Is this about Levi?" He asked in a low voice.

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded. "How is this about Levi?"

"Are you telling me to date Kristy so you could have Levi without either of us getting in your way?" He spat with so much accusation.

"What??!" I shrieked. I was tongue tied. I cant believe he's accusing me for this.

"I'm right, aren't I? How selfish can you be Zoe? God! Maybe you should also consider other people's feelings! Seriously!" He shouted with disgust, and turned to walk away. My lips started shaking, the tears were forming. I bit my lower lip.

"Oliver! That is not what I'm inplying!!" I called after him.

He stopped, and walked back towards me, looking furious. His eyes were misty and his lips were shaking as well.

"You..." His voice shook, so he stopped for a little bit, and ran his hand through his hair as he inhaled deeply.

"You could date Levi if you want Zoe. I would understand. But if you see me as a burden, you could just tell me. You dont have to drag Kristy into this." He said.

The tears I have been holding started to fall freely down my cheeks. The lump in my throat was keeping me from talking, and my lips were shaking like crazy. I was speechless.

He looked at me, and his face slowly softens. He reached for my face to wipe the tears but I looked away and avoided his touch.

"Don't." I muttered.

"JJ..." He came closer, and it looked like he was gonna give me a hug. This time, I was the one disgusted.

"I said, Dont!" I shouted.

"I'm sorry..I.." He looked for the words to say.

"No. Its okay, Oliver. You're right. Because I am way too obsessed about having someone who might actually like me. Because I am way too desperate to get Levi, and I'm willing to hurt my friends. Because I'm that awful. I'm the bad guy! Your right." I said sarcastically. Tears continued to fall.

I grabbed my stuff, and started to walk away, bumping his shoulders on the process. Before I could get too far, I turned around and saw him still standing right where I left him. Looking at me with a lot of pain evident in his eyes.

"You will miss the bus if you will just keep standing there, Oliver."