Fine

Chapter 12

"What? Why?" I exclaimed. What on earth happened while I was gone?

"He was with some friends and they decided to do drugs. They took some of his mom's painkillers but Matthew overdosed." My dad said. My heart was racing, I was so worried.

"We're taking you out today so you can see him. You'll be back tomorrow." Dad said. I nodded.

"Stay strong, Ash. Don't relapse. Remember everything we talked about." The women said. I nodded and followed my dad out to his car.

"What's it like in there?" Dad asked as we got in the car. I shrugged and pulled my Bring Me the Horizon cd out. It was Suicide Season. I put it in and turned to 'Chelsea Smile'. We pulled up to the hospital. We got out and I followed Dad to Matt's room. He was sitting up in the hospital bed, talking to Madi. He was smiling and laughing. He looked fine. When I walked in his laughing stopped. Everyone turned to look at me.

"Asher!" Madi said, she got up and hugged me. Before she pulled away she whispered,

"I need to talk to you." In my ear. I looked at Austin. He smiled at me and nodded. I looked at Matt. His face was blank.

"Come here!" Mom said. I walked over to her. Gavin was sitting on her lap. When I walked he hopped up and went over to Dad. I can't believe I managed to make a five year old terrified of me. Mom pulled me down and hugged me tightly, planting a big kiss on my cheek. I lightly pushed her away.

"Are you going to say hi to your brother, Matt?" Mom asked. He looked at me.

"Hi, Ash." He said in a monotone voice. I didn't realize he hated me today. The family resumed in their conversation. Madi slipped over to me and pulled me out of the room.

"Why does Matt suddenly hate me so much?" I asked. I knew he didn't really like me all that much but he practically ignored me in there.

"Well, everyone at school has noticed your absence. A lot of rumors are going around, some involving him." Madi said.

"That's not my fault!" I exclaimed.

"Calm down, that's not even what I want to talk about." Madi said. A look came across her face, a look I knew all to well.

"Okay, well, when something like this happens they tell you to tell someone you trust. Someone you're comfortable with. I trust you and I'm comfortable with you plus I feel like you'll know how to deal with this." Madi said. I really hope this isn't going where I think this is going.

"Well last week, while you were gone, I went to a party. And some stuff happened. I know this is awkward but I just really need to tell someone. Well, I met this guy and he was really nice. I hadn't had a drink yet so I was sober the whole time and I think he was too. He took me upstairs and we kissed. But that wasn't enough for him, he kept going. I told him n-no but he wouldn't lis-sten." Her voice trembled at the end and then she started to cry. I couldn't believe someone would hurt Madi like that.

"Madi, I'm so sorry. I can't believe this." I said hugging her. She cried into my chest and rubbed her back.

"I-I just couldn't keep it bottled up. Please don't tell mom or dad. Don't tell anyone. Promise?" She said looking up at me.

"I promise." I said. She wiped her tears and gave me a weak smile.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." She said and walked away. I walked back into the room.

"Where's Madi?" Mom asked.

"In the bathroom." I said.

"Probably going to cut herself. Emo is contagious." Matt muttered. Oh now that was just stupid. His insults are literal shit.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Austin said, a disgusted look on his face. Matt just glared at him.

"Matt, be quiet and apologize." Mom said.

"Sorry." He grumbled, rolling his eyes. My eyes started to sting with tears. I can't believe I was letting him get to me. I was so pathetic. Madi came back in the room and sat down.

"Well, she isn't dead." Matt said. Mom shot him a warning look and he put his hands up in defense.

I suddenly had this familiar feeling. I hadn't had it since Ethan was alive. It was a feeling I didn't like.

I missed Kenny. But what could I do about it? Absolutely nothing.

Another feeling came forward. A feeling I hated even worse than the longing I felt for Kenny. I wanted to cut.

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When we got home I went straight to my room. It felt so nice to be in it. Matt was out of the hospital, too. They got all the drugs out of his system or whatever so he was back home in all his assholiness.

I layed down on my bed and looked at my room. I don't know why but something in me broke. I just started sobbing. I started thinking about everything. Ethan. Kenny. Cutting. Emmitt. School. Alex. Madi. Matthew. Austin.

Everything.

I just wanted to be numb. I wanted the pain to go away. But if I cut people would know. So I must use plan B. Pills. I got up and wiped my tears. I know there are pills in my parents bathroom, not mine. Thank god they were in the basement. I walked into their room and into their bathroom. I grabbed the sleeping pills and opened it. I was about to pour some out when I heard footsteps. My heart started racing. I tried to pour them quietly but they were so loud.

I got about 8 or so and then put the bottle back. When I turned around I bumped into someone. I looked up and my heart stopped. Austin stood there.

"Put them back." He said. I gulped and turned around. I did as I was told.

"I'm staying with you tonight, okay?" Austin said. I nodded. We stood there for a second before I realized it was time for me to move. I walked to my room and he followed.

"Asher," He said closing the door, "Don't take pills. Talk. You're not alone."

"I-I know." I choked out. The tears wanted to come back. I was such a pansy. I cried too much. Austin came over and hugged me.

"I missed you." He said pulling away.

"I missed you, too." I said sitting down on my bed. I felt him sit down next to me.

"Did you make any friends?" Austin asked. I nodded and immediately thought of Kenny.

"Who?" Austin questioned.

"A boy named Kenny. He's really nice." I said. I couldn't keep the admiration out of my voice.

"You like him, don't you?" Austin asked. I laughed thinking about how much of an understatement that was.

"A little."

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I actually kinda think the end of this chapter is cute ^.^ anyway it's been kind of awhile since I updated but here it is. What did you think? Please let me know!

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