Highland Chieftain (Book 5)

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

It had come too soon, yet the time had crawled by in order to get here. Standing before a priest, beside Robert of all people. If someone had said this marriage would be happening, even a year ago, he would have laughed merrily at the jest, called them a fool and told them to open another cask of ale. Now, the event which should have promised merriment of the highest degree was upon them all, yet his thoughts were in the same state as those whom were presiding over that of a funeral. Deep breaths had not done anything, the feeling of oppression had fallen upon him and Robert and those who had gathered to witness. A pitiful turnout for one of such standing within the country. However, the smaller the better as far as he was concerned, for no joy was taken by any in this match.

Even the early spring morn was bitterly cold, as if winter still held them within their grip, the weather meeting the mood in perfect symmetry. His finery was the most stifling clothing he had ever worn and it was as if someone had put him in chains. The guilt over this was eating him alive and he could not allow it to take him under, whilst at the same time, he could not let it go. For he was, and always would be eaten by the guilt of the actions he had taken which had led to this moment. There had been a time when he had dreamed of a small wedding, this was never what he had intended, this was never what he had dreamed about. All he had wanted to do was to help and look at the holy mess he had made of things. It was too much to bear, the pain he was holding within over this match was unequivocal with any pain he had felt before.

Nay, he was wrong on that, and the painful remembering of the child that would never be was breath taking on its own. Coupled with the pain he already felt, it almost brought him to his knees. Robert reached out and steadied him. With a thin veil of a smile, he looked upon the man he now called friend and could not work out at all what Robert took from this friendship past the initial help he had taken as he recovered. Kendrick was realising just how small he was in the world and whilst he had been away from home for coming up to two years now, he wondered if his people needed him anyway. The trade deals were set, what more did they want from him? Shaking his head as he clapped Robert on the shoulder, they both stood tall as the doorway was shadowed. Knowing the time was upon them as they had talk of so often, that time was finally here.

Without turning for a moment, he stood before the altar and priest and closed his eyes. Taking a deep, long breath through his nose. Holding it. Before releasing it through his mouth. In his mind's eye, he saw the vision he wished were true. That the woman who darkened the doorway with her shadow was the woman he wished to see there. That the woman who had come for the marriage today was in fact Larena. That her hair was free and flowing, the wind lifting it slightly as the weak sun shone on her from behind. Making her seem as if she was glowing, a flowing dress draped lovingly over her perfect frame. As she stood and smiled upon him, with such love that he could feel his heart swell within his chest.

Solemnly, he turned and felt his heart shrivel a little. The shrew herself stood there preening. Most probably thinking herself the most beautiful creature in existence. Her form was clothed in the gaudiest dress, trimmed in expensive furs and embroidery. A dress even Larena would think was too much, and his Larena had liked a nice dress or two. Though none but him had seen that it was the only loving gesture she ever received from her father. This woman wore what she wanted, when she wanted and would likely complain very loudly when she realised that the company and wealth of the clan she was going to was considerably less that she was used too. Even with the rather larger dowry her father was providing her with. It would not be a happy life with her, but her father had made promises to soften that blow. He had even promised to speak to the King about the husband of his only child taking his title on his death, rather than his rather uppity nephew. Kendrick knew that it meant a lot of wealth in the future of the shrews husband, but that also meant a life chained to her.

A chain that was witnessed by her father, by a friend and by God himself, it would not be undone. That unhappiness would be set for life, and that wealth that was to follow most likely would come too late to be of any help in life whatsoever. As the shrew smiled in what she must have thought was a coquettish and endearing way, but instead made her look like the experienced woman she was. Not the virgin bride she tried to emulate this day. Stepping forward, with fine jewels rather than a simple garland of highland flowers upon her head. She would have glided if she had not looked so very wrong being so thin. There was nothing too her and it made Kendrick a little uncomfortable to look at her so. Her definitely preferred more flesh upon the bones. It would never be comfortable to couple with her surely? Aye, he was experienced, but he had not ever found her body type attractive. He did have to wonder at why anyone would. But those were thoughts for another time, for with a pinched brow she stepped up to stand before the altar.

With what he thought was very few words to make such a binding promise, even if the mass had taken over an hour, the unwelcome deed was done. A marriage and life now set. All that was left was the consummation, not that they could prove that other than witnesses, as the virgin blood would be unobtainable, due to the very unvirtuous woman who was the bride. Her father released a sigh of relief, the problem was no longer his, she was now in the hands of another and if he could not deal with her, then at least her father did not have to spend more money on the issue, it was not his place any longer. He had done his duty in finding her a good husband. He would do well by his word and speak to the King. For his new son in law was going to need something to look forward to in his future. She may be his daughter but that only meant he knew her flaws all the more and there were definitely a few that had been kept from the groom, and he was sure to find those out for himself soon enough.

With a high pitched giggle, the bride and groom left the church to start their new life. A life which every one of the witnesses, except a rather short sighted mother, believed would be an unhappy one for all involved. A few had even spent the mass praying for the clan she would become the lady of, for they had in no way done anything to deserve her presence amongst them.

A day later, the deed witnessed and with nothing to separate them, the union bound until death them do part, the highland men mounted their horses. Caroline said a teary and rather prolonged goodbye to her father. She had protested the quick departure, no doubt wanting to shine in the attention from the parties she could have had due to the marriage, to make up for the lack of celebration over her wedding so far. But she was looking forward to the harsh travel even less. Both Kendrick and Robert steeled themselves, knowing this was a journey that was going to test their resolve as men. It was a test from the Lord Almighty and they were going to show him they could pass any and all tests He sent their way.

With a big to-do about how unhappy she was to be leaving her mother so suddenly and how her things would have to be sent on after her. She was helped upon her horse without the help of her new husband, much to her disdain. With a few nods from the men, Lord Douglas stood back and watched his daughter's face sour as nobody listened to the complaints she was already making vocal. Kendrick and Robert moved to the head of the column and road off, setting a harsh pace to begin with. Half of their men trailed behind with a loudly complaining Caroline between them. The other half would follow at a more sedate pace with all of their belongings. Picking up the pace once more, he could sense Robert do the same beside him. Neither had spoken much since the wedding had ended, but both knew they felt the same in that instant, they both wished to be rid of all that had happened in Edinburgh as quickly as possible and be back in their beloved Highlands. Even if all life as they had known it had changed completely.

The journey took just over two weeks with the slow pace they had to reluctantly follow. The ear splitting, high pitched words of complaint had meant that they slowed the pace in order to shut her up. They had sent word ahead. The most direct Keep to which they were both now friendly was the MacKay's it was decided that they would stop their before Kendrick and Robert went in their own, opposite directions. Yet, even as he crested the final hill, on the clear but chilly spring morn, all he could feel was numbness, knowing that behind those walls was the woman he could never have.