Highland Chieftain (Book 5)

Prologue

AN - For all those that are still continuing with my Highland Series, thank you so much, I hope you enjoy. Any new readers, I hope you like this book and choose to read some of my other works. Enjoy Az x

Prologue

Finding out that your brother is actually your brother in law, and your sister in law is actually your sister...well that would be hard on most people. But others would be there for them through the confusion, friends and family rallying around making sure that all was taken care of and that the roiling emotions were calmed. But instead, nobody had actually informed her of this. No, she had overheard it whilst she had, admittedly, being unashamedly eavesdropping.

But even if it was the case that the entire clan was aware of the issue, and not only that but everything else she kept so close to herself, unable to tell any other soul. Why would they care? They would not help or be there for her, and she knew the answer, had never been told them in so many words, but knew that everyone within the clan thought it. She was the stone cold hearted bitch...and because that was what everyone thought...well then why not actually life up to the name. At least it got her noticed now that everyone was moving on with their lives.

Moving on and leaving her behind. For who would want to remain friends with a judgemental, overbearing bully of a women when they had managed to find someone who cared for them, and now had bairns of their own. They no longer had time for her and her selfish, surface deep ways. In fact, no one had any time for her at all any more, and even her brother/brother in law was giving up on her. He did not even shout at her any more. Choosing to ignore her instead, and that was what hurt the most. If he shouted at least he cared. Now...it was as if she did not even exist in his world. His wife became his priority and then along had come the bairns. And logically she could see that it was exactly as it should be...but what about her? Who, in the name of God Almighty himself, did she have?

The one person who could stand to be around her she pushed away because the pain of seeing them and knowing her failure was too much, and now he was to marry another. She had lost him forever, and nothing she could do would change that. Her brother had even, once upon a time, issued threats of sending her to a convent. And whilst that way of life was completely anathema to the way she lived. Even that life at this moment was looking to be a favourable option. At least as a nun she may one day find solace in her very soul, and find some forgiveness for the hurt she had caused...not to those in the clan, for if they did not care for her why should she care for them? No, the pain she had caused to the one person in the entire world who had seen her, liked her, even loved her, and had to turn away from her because of the utter agony caused by her actions. That pain was unbearable, so very unbearable that she did not know whether it was worth it to keep it locked up within anymore.

As she walked the parapet, the night sky oppressive in its dark starless state, she knew this dark corner would not be walked for at least another hour. The warmer air was cloying this night. As if mocking her and the choices she had made. The choice she still had to make. Yet no matter the heat. The stone beneath her fingers held a chill which kept her rooted within the moment. Even in her darkest moments she could not stop herself from being brought back to the reality of her pain. As alone as she was her own mind worked against her. Making her alone even against her very self. Her mind working to keep her in a constant state of darkness, just varying degrees of blackness were her constant companion.

Releasing the clasp on her thin summer cloak, she let it drift to a heap at her feet. Nothing mattered now. He was marrying another. Whilst she had known for years he no longer wanted her, this confirmation was just too much. It was the final stone to break the back. All her life had been leading here. No she saw it as clear as day. No one would miss her, no one would even mourn her, she was very sure of that.

For too long now she had been invisible to those who should have cared. If no one cared enough for her to be here now, should she even care? It had her questioning her very being. The only answers that were coming up were in fact that they were right. There was nothing she could come up with to convince herself that they were wrong.

In the end all she could hope was that it would be quick.

As she placed her hands flat upon the rough stone that had helped protect her home for longer than she had been alive. She climbed up. Standing tall and taking a deep breath of the cloying air that smelt so very much like home. A home she had not belonged too for so very long. With a tear silently making its way down her cheek, leaving a salty trail in its wake, she went to take that final step.

Ignoring the running steps behind her. They just wanted to ease their own souls now. They did not care it was her, instead it was their own conscience they needed to make peace with. Taking a deep breath she made to move.

"Larena...."