The Kingdom of Noitcif

Chapter Two - A Simple Essay

  "Oh, please no," Espen whispered.

  He was sitting in English - his final class - and before his teacher began to speak, he had been reflecting upon the fact that this had been a very good day. No one had pestered him at lunch, no one had slammed into his backpack when he walked down the halls, and his orchestra teacher had called him a 'very adept pianist'.

  But Espen should have known his day couldn't hold this optimistic bent for long. Because shortly after his English teacher walked into the room at the beginning of the class period, his day took a pessimistic dive.

  "All right, all of you; listen up," Mr. Monteith instructed, walking into the room, his duffel bag slung over his shoulder and tennis shoes squeaking on the dusty tile floors.

  Backpacks zipped and unzipped and textbooks were thrown onto the desks.

  "We are going to be doing something a little different today," Mr. Montieth proclaimed, uncapping a bright red white board marker and writing the words 'Five paragraph essay' on the board.

  The students groaned.

  "You all are going to be writing a five paragraph essay on a subject of your choice."

  This made some of the kids excited, and Espen's mind raced to think of a good topic. The state of Montana? No. A summary of fresh water regions across the world? That was a little dull. The life of Sergei Rachmaninoff? That was more interesting. He was mulling over his third essay option when Mr. Montieth spoke up yet again.

  "I am going to assign you into two person groups, and you both have to agree on a topic. You'll be writing together until the end of the class period."

  One of the girls at the front of the class raised her hand.

  "Yes, Sophie?" the English teacher inquired.

  "Could I be paired up with Sara?"

  "You'll have to wait and see."

  "All right, the groups are David and Steve!"

  The sound of Mr. Montieth's voice made two boys sitting at opposite ends of the room perk up, their attention diverted away from the tips of their pencils.

  "Sophie and Sara!"

  The two girls at the front of the room looked elated.

  "Liz and Henry! Espen and Rosalind!"

  Espen's shoulders stiffened and his left hand gripped his pencil with even more tension. The announcement of 'Maureen, Jeremy, and Arlo' completely washed over the ginger's head as he set his forehead upon his desk and groaned.

  Suddenly, the room was filed with the clattering of desks and chairs, and it took Espen a moment to realize that Mr. Montieth had asked all the students to sit beside their partners. To Espen's utter dismay, Rosalind pulled her desk across the room so they were side by side. She gave him a toothy grin, causing his hazel eyes to glance upwards at the ceiling to escape.

  "All right, you all know what you're doing," Mr. Monteith declared, which was confirmed by the fifteen students nodding back at him - or at least meeting his eye. "You have forty minutes."

  "So what do you want to do an essay on?" Rosalind asked in her seventy-decibel voice.

  Espen shrugged.

  "Well, come on now." She shoved him playfully. "You must have some idea."

  "How about the architecture of medieval castles?" he inquired.

  Rosalind suddenly looked horrified.

  "What? Medieval? No! Let's do an essay on the agendas of celebrities."

  Espen gave another blank shrug, even though he was absolutely disgusted by the idea.

  "Good! You agree!"

  "All right, let's see... let's title this thing as... Daily Doings of National Celebrities. That's a snappy title, isn't it, Penny?"

  Espen wrinkled his nose. There was another ridiculous nickname to add to the list.

  "Paragraph one," Espen heard his partner breath as she poised her pencil over the pad of paper.

  Suddenly, she began scribbling so violently and with such determination that Espen had to wonder how her hand didn't get sore. She mused to herself as she wrote - not speaking to anyone in particular, but rather saying the words that she was writing out loud to hear if they sounded appropriate.

  "The daily agendas of prolific actors and musicians are all very interesting and diverse, although they all have one thing in common: All of the celebrities are absolutely, without a doubt, geniuses."

  Espen sighed.

  "First of all, each of them sings or acts in their work time - making them ascend to greatness - but what they do in their spare time is very different." Rosalind's pencil lead suddenly broke with a snap, and she dug around in her backpack before triumphantly pulling out another. "For example, Grayson Farrell eats a bowl of Raisin Bran for breakfast, while Diane Clerger eats a boiled egg and a slice of toast!"

  Espen moaned and slouched down further into his chair.

  "And, while Matthias Trenblay goes skiing in the winter, Miranda Delante enjoys ice skating! Imagine that!"

  This went on for the full forty minutes until Mr. Monteith announced that the class period was over, and to please hand their essays to him. In that period of time, Rosalind had composed a hefty five paragraphs, complete with pencil smudges and notes in the margin - while Espen managed to enjoy a couple of pleasant daydreams about being elsewhere.

  "Well, come on, Penny!" Rosalind exclaimed, tapping him on the shoulder.

  Espen reluctantly clamored out of his desk chair and stood by her side as she turned in her essay to Mr. Monteith.

  "And what is your essay about, you two?" he asked, glancing over the first page.

  Espen didn't reply.

  "It's a comprehensive essay about the daily life of modern celebrities," Rosalind told him proudly.

  "Comprehensive, indeed," Espen muttered.

  As Espen gathered his belongings to finally leave for the day, Rosalind tapped her teammate on the shoulder a final time.

  "I think we did good, Penny."

  Espen didn't respond.