Instability Within

Chapter 2

Ivan knew that he couldn't reveal his feelings for Alfred, but in his affliction, he made the rash decision to attempt to provoke Alfred. Not only did he let himself climax before Alfred did, but he made sure to whimper, "T-Toris..." as he did so.

Alfred wasn't stupid. He knew that Toris was Ivan's ex-boyfriend. After letting himself climax, Alfred turned hostile.

"If you're still craving him, why don't you just get him back?! Why waste your time with me?! Toris would be happy to be back with you, and you know it!" As exhausted and satisfied as Alfred felt, his rage was stronger. Internally, he was confused about why he was shouting. They didn't mean anything to each other, and he should be perfectly fine with it if Ivan was still in love with Toris.

Ivan let his arms relax, lowering himself lightly on top of Alfred. He hadn't meant it, hadn't meant any of it. He didn't have any feelings for Toris other than friendship, but the cuddle of apology didn't do it for Alfred.

"Let me go!" Alfred shoved the huge man off of him with ease. He stormed out, pulling back on his shirt and shorts as he left. He realized that his response was unacceptable, but didn't care. He was upset, but also curious. It was true, Toris would be plenty willing to get back together with Ivan. Heck, Toris would probably hook up with Ivan if Ivan asked. Toris was probably the most tolerant person Alfred knew. So why would Ivan still be with him if he wanted Toris? Was Alfred holding him back? Ivan certainly wouldn't go after Toris if he couldn't get away from Alfred.

His head cleared by the cold winter air, he decided that he didn't want to be that person. Yes, he was often ignorant and obnoxious, but only because he let himself be. He could be as level-headed as he wanted to be, he just didn't often bother. Many of the few times he did let himself be serious were when it regarded others' feelings, like now. He didn't want to be the person who kept Ivan from what he wanted, or to cause him any pain. He knew that even if Ivan was unhappy, Ivan wouldn't come tell him, so he decided to do this on his own. He would stop seeing Ivan. It was for the best. Not only would it leave Ivan free to do whatever he wanted, but it would probably be best for Alfred to let it go as well. When he had first gotten into this, he had done it because of Arthur. That was long over, the feelings forgotten, so what was he still doing here anyway?