Instability Within

Chapter 5

Alfred didn't hear from Ivan again. The calls, the texts, the pestering, it all stopped, and Ivan didn't come back. Alfred tried not to care. To everybody else, he did look like he didn't care. Or even better, like he was almost relieved.

Alfred made up his mind. He hated Ivan. Ivan had abandoned him, and nobody who abandoned him was worth anything more than hatred.

Yet somehow, Alfred still found himself upset. He would sometimes catch himself reaching for another bottle of vodka, buying more when he ran out. He watched himself in third person, seeing the blood trickle down his forearm. It didn't hurt, he didn't feel much of anything at all. It just made him feel better somehow.

Ivan, on the other hand, was enjoying his time away. Venturing southward towards the equator, he was met with sunny days, as opposed to the chilly frost he was used to. He knew he would have to return someday, but he wanted to escape for as long as he could.

Knowing that Alfred didn't want anyone to be made aware of his situation with Ivan, Francis had been taking care of him for the past few days. It wasn't a bother, Francis just had to check up on him a couple times a day and monitor his alcohol intake. But that day, Francis stumbled in upon a passed out Alfred who had been cutting. Alfred had made three lines on his left arm, surprisingly neat and straight.

Francis rushed over, grabbing a wash cloth and beginning to drip water all over Alfred's arm, washing off the blood. He had had enough, Alfred had taken this too far.

"Ivan, mon ami. I'm sorry for interrupting you in what you are doing, but what exactly did you do to Alfred? Don't worry, I know everything." Francis called after cleaning Alfred up and laying him in the bed to rest.

"What did I do to him?" Ivan asked incredulously, "Well, sure, I may have started it, but he was the one who hurt me, not the other way around. I'm sure he's perfectly happy now with his new life with Arthur." He informed Francis bitterly.

"I assure you, he has no life with Arthur. He hasn't left the house in two weeks, Ivan. He's done nothing but drink." Francis began to see what Ivan was saying, and what Alfred must have done.

"Oh." Ivan wasn't exactly sure how to react to that. Did that mean that Alfred had been rejected by Arthur again? Or that Alfred missed him?

"He cut himself, Ivan." Francis let him know grimly.

"Oh!" Ivan was surprised. As well as he thought he knew Alfred, Alfred didn't seem like the type of person who would do something like that.

"You need to come back. I don't care if you leave again after, but you two need to sit down and have a rational conversation for once. If I have to come drag you back and tie you down, that's what I'll do. You two will work through this until you're fully functional human beings again." Francis let out a little of his rage towards Ivan. Sure, maybe Ivan wasn't the one at fault here, but it felt good to blame him a little.

Ivan sighed. "Alright, I'll be back in a couple of days. Does Alfred really want to see me though?"

"I don't really know, considering he passed out. But that doesn't matter. I guess you'll find out when you get here."