promised - kim namjoon

ten

"Namjoon," Taehyung called when he walked back into his dorm room.

The room would be deathly quiet to anyone else, but Taehyung could hear the classical music playing from Namjoon's laptop at the lowest volume level. He leans his head forward and looks into the crack of Namjoon's room, seeing the large man's head sticking out of his comforter while he lays in bed.

Taehyung walks into Namjoon's room, picking up the cans and tissues he saw on the ground. He mutters words about how filthy Namjoon is, before throwing them away in the trash can.

"Namjoon," Taehyung called again, shaking him. "Did you at least eat?" 

"Shut the hell up, and get out," Namjoon growled, "who gave you permission to come into my room?"

"Usually, when someone does not want other people in their room," Taehyung reminded him, pushing the bedroom door close, "they lock the door." 

Namjoon doesn't say a word, he just pulls the comforter tighter around his body and looks Taehyung in the eye, who only smiles at him with his rectangular-shaped smile. It makes Namjoon want to gag and murder Taehyung, and the thoughts become more realistic as Taehyung sits on his bed.

"Namjoon," Taehyung keeps his voice low, "please eat. I got you something." 

Taehyung reaches into his pocket and pulls out two granola bars, the one with extra fruit and chocolate that he sees Namjoon always get at the vending machine. Namjoon raises an eyebrow, and takes both of them out of Taehyung's hand, unwrapping one so Taehyung would stop staring at him hopelessly. He takes a bite and stares back at Taehyung, who grins again.

"Do you feel a little better?" Taehyung asks, his smile growing.

"Smile any bigger and I swear to God I'll break your teeth," Namjoon mutters. Taehyung chuckled, knowing Namjoon wouldn't do such a thing to him. Namjoon was always jealous of Taehyung's smile.

"Can we talk now?" Taehyung wondered, slouching back on Namjoon's bed, resting his head on Namjoon's leg.

"Aren't we already talking?" Namjoon questions, his mouth full of granola.

Taehyung doesn't say a word, he only sighs and puts his arms behind his head. Namjoon stopped chewing for a moment, listening to Taehyung's breathing. It was heavy and low, and the intakes were much deeper than before.

"What do you want to talk about?" Namjoon asked.

Taehyung pressed his lips into a thin line before answering. "What happened to your soulmate?"

Namjoon's stomach turned and his throat became dry for a moment, since Taehyung caught him so off guard. He could already feel a tear building in his eye again, thinking about how alone he is.

"I thought you knew already," Namjoon replied, "that I'm just as clueless as you are."

"But the thing is," Taehyung turned and faced Namjoon, resting his head on his elbows now, " you're not as clueless as me. I think, I'm not saying that I'm positive, but I truly think that you have a good idea about what happened to your soulmate. The reason you study soulmate science and all that is because you just want an answer to why this happened."

Taehyung places his finger on the comforter, where he knows that underneath is the arm Namjoon had his soulmate tattoo on. Namjoon yanks his arm away, sitting up on his bed.

"Are you here to mock me?" Namjoon spat, "Do you even care about the fact that there's no one actually out there for me? To love me?" 

"I just want to know the truth, Namjoon," Taehyung swore, "and yes, I do care. I truly do care about you and your feelings, Namjoon. Please, trust me on this, trust me when I say that I care about your feelings. M-Maybe I could help, maybe I know something that could fix this."

"You don't know anything," Namjoon turned his head away, "because it's hereditary." 

Taehyung is sitting up right now, looking into Namjoon's face while he diverts his eyes to another direction. Taehyung can practically hear Namjoon's heart beating harshly against his chest, as he waits for Namjoon to tell him the story.

"I don't know why I was cursed with it," Namjoon began, "but according to my grandfather, there's a disease in which a person has no soulmate to begin with. Science states that when a soulmate dies, the soulmate symbol is removed in a not painful way, while in my case, it burns and aches and the pain lasts for many days, and it can't be medicated. "

"But there's people who are already born with no soulmate," Taehyung wondered, "why do you have to feel pain? Why does your soulmate tattoo have to be removed and scar your arm?"

"Because my ancestor sinned, and his descendants have to make up for it," Namjoon answered. "The story goes that my ancestor, Joohyun Kim, had fell for a woman that was not his soulmate, and he was jealous of the man she was with. He tried on multiple occasions to win her heart, and it never worked out, causing him to be furious. He murdered both her and her husband before killing himself. Because he couldn't be severely punished, a curse was placed on my family, that in every generation, a person, man or woman, in the family suffers the pain that Joohyun would have suffered if he was alive. It's why I'm constantly studying soulmate science, because I want a cure. I want a way to fix this so no one else in my family suffers."

Namjoon closed his eyes tightly, trying to stop himself from crying in front of Taehyung. Taehyung silently watches, his own throat tightening. 

"P-Please," Namjoon begged, "don't tell Tsai. Don't tell her about how much I suffer thinking about it, don't tell her about how the pain returns once in a while. I am a living, walking embarrassment, and I burden people with guilt when they hear about my past. Don't bring it up to her, please, I be-"

Taehyung leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Namjoon's shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug, Namjoon's face being pressed into Taehyung's shoulder. Namjoon's eyes widened at the sudden move, but doesn't hesitate to wrap his arm around Taehyung in an embrace. 

Taehyung tears up a bit as he hears Namjoon's sobs against his sweater. They both hold each other, Taehyung apologizing multiple times as Namjoon tries to calm down a bit. It goes on for several minutes, until Namjoon believes he can move his mouth away from Taehyung's shoulder without crying again. Taehyung rubs Namjoon's shoulder while wiping the last tear underneath his eye. 

"I-I feel a little better now," Namjoon admitted, "talking to you made me feel better. Thank you." 

Taehyung nods. "Lay down, you're going to fall over. You look very exhausted." Namjoon complies and rests his head on the pillow, taking deep breaths. 

"Take a nap," Taehyung suggested, "I'll bring you some food later." Taehyung stood up from the bed, pulling the comforter up to Namjoon's neck like he found him. "It's your free day, sleep all day if you want." 

Taehyung walks to the door, opening it again.

"Even if it's for the time being, I wish you and Tsai the best," Namjoon mutters, stopping Taehyung in his tracks. Taehyung absorbs Namjoon's words, before grinning at him, and then leaving the room with the door shutting behind him.