promised - kim namjoon

sixteen

Tsai called Namjoon at least a hundred times, with not even a text message back from him. She finished her last lecture an hour ago, and she had already purchased some things to cook for him, but didn't want to make it to his dorm without him knowing. As a final resort, Tsai called Taehyung, hopefully he would answer. 

After the first call fails, she calls again, and finally prevails.

"Hello?" Taehyung is panting heavily, and Tsai feels her eyes well up again thinking that he's still at Jungkook's place having sex.

"H-Hi," Tsai stammered, "have you spoken to Namjoon lately? I called him many times and he's just not a-"

"Yeah, I'm with him, don't worry," Taehyung rushed, "and don't show up here tonight, or tomorrow, or the day after."

"Pardon?"

"He's not feeling well," Taehyung sighed, "don't come here, let me be with him and handle him for the time being." 

"I know he's not well, that's why I'm going over there," Tsai argued, "I'm making him food."

"Don't show up here, I'm not going to open the door, Tsai, don't even attempt. Please, just stay at your dorm." 

"Why can't I see him?" Tsai continued to fight, "Why can't you let me see him? Why do you always stop me from hanging with him? I'm going to come over and make him food, like I promised, don't try to stop me." 

"Tsai, I'm not trying to stop you from anything," Taehyung's tone was more angry now, "but right now is not the time, don't fucking show up. It's for your own good." 

"What's wrong with him? Is he vomiting? Is he bleeding?" Tsai asked, her heartbeat racing.

"Tsai, he has a very high fever," Taehyung lied, "when he's doing a little better, I'll let you come o-"

"I'll be there as soon as I can," and with that, Tsai hung up the phone. 

  ♂  

Taehyung is losing his shit. 

First, he hurts Tsai's feelings by answering one of her damn calls while he's having sex, and then he finds a screaming Namjoon on the floor of his bedroom, crying because his pain cycle has returned. Now, Tsai is on her way here, and he promised Namjoon he would never let Tsai see him in that position. 

While Taehyung has been with this sobbing Namjoon, he learned two things: One, Namjoon's pain cycles worked like a pregnant woman and contractions - it lasts for a long while, and then there's a pause, where Namjoon's body is not in as much pain, and he can rest for a moment. 

Two, Namjoon wasn't exaggerating about the pain.

He was hysterical, crying against the carpeted floor, trying to pull his hoodie off when Taehyung walked in. His skin was red and sweaty, and he was gasping for air in between his sobs. He was constantly whining and screaming for help, his eyes shut tight as he yelled for God to take the pain away from him, praying for forgiveness, even though the sin he was cursed with had nothing to do with something he did. 

Taehyung tried his best; he gave Namjoon water when he wasn't gasping for air, rubbed his aching back, shoulders, and arms, pressed an ice pack against his sweaty forehead, and timed how long each pause in the Namjoon's cycle was. It helped during the pauses of his cycle, but once the pain came back at full force, Taehyung was forced to sit back and watch with wet eyes as Namjoon would writhe against the floor, tears and drool pressed into the carpet. 

At the moment, Namjoon had begun one of his pauses. The last few lasted about three minutes, steadily gaining thirty to forty-five seconds, and the duration of pain was slightly decreasing, so Taehyung assumed that this pause would last at least six minutes. 

Namjoon was now on his bed, a wet cloth placed against his forehead as he took deep breaths. Taehyung took a napkin and wiped Namjoon's runny nose, before stroking Namjoon's hair out of his face.

"What do I do about Tsai?" Taehyung asked, his voice just above a whisper. 

"I don't know," Namjoon said honestly, "I don't know." 

"Call her now," Taehyung offered, "and tell her why she can't come."

"She's Tsai Kubo, she'll show up anyways," Namjoon huffed, as Taehyung pulled his blanket up to his shoulders. 

Taehyung and Namjoon shared a moment of silence before Taehyung muttered, "Just let her see."

"Are you fucking crazy?" Namjoon scowled, "You want me to put her through something like this?"

"You can't hide this shit forever, Namjoon," Taehyung reminded him, "and definitely not from her."

"It would hurt her, Taehyung, she would be in so much pain." 

"She's put out everything about her life on the table for you, and you haven't told her shit. She trusts you enough with her secrets, at least put some trust in her, too." 

"There's some things she shouldn't know about, Taehyung!" Namjoon fought back, "You're not in my position. You haven't seen what I've seen when people find out about this. People treat me differently, people avoid me, people treat me like I'm a disease, and I don't want that from Tsai. I want her to see me as how she's always seen me - as this tall, weird guy she can have intellectual conversations with." 

"She cares about you too much to be lied to, she worries about your condition and health more than you know," Taehyung argued. He watched as Namjoon closed his eyes tightly again, and he prepared for another battle against his body.

"She needs to know, Namjoon," Taehyung swore, getting up from his chair. The pain had stormed in yet again, and Namjoon yelped before screaming into his pillow. Taehyung stepped out of the room to avoid seeing Namjoon in pain again, his eyes filling with tears as he hears Namjoon screaming into his pillow.

"I'm praying too, Namjoon, I'm praying, too."