My Journal

December 4th 2016

I didn't do anything of much excitement except watching Hetalia and eating a fuck ton of oranges...
I got up at 10am and just laid around for a while.

My landlord came by and he's really creepy and I don't like him. He just seems too friendly. He reminds me of my wood shop teacher.. And I hated him so much, he was sooooooo creepy. I tend to attract really creepy old men and I just want to curl up and die because of it. ;-;

But creepy people aside! I have 10 days left of school until I'm off school for three whole weeks!!!! Which is cool. At my old school one school day (six hours) felt like three months. But now, at my new school, one school day (seven hours) feels like fifteen minutes.

Since my old school only has two weeks off, on the third week, me and some of my friends are going to hang out there during lunch and say hi to my old teachers and some of my old friends.

I'm actually writing each teacher a letter with good memories from when I was in their class and how I'm getting much better grades than last year. Last year I struggled in every subject. I failed every test I was handed. But now, I'm getting A's and B's on my tests and I'm learning the exact same things as last year. I actually was re-taught pretty much everything that I learnt from science and English last year. And I'm actually remembering everything instead of forgetting it!! I'm really happy!!

I was actually "un-teachable" last year and now that I'm at this new school, my grades have changed a lot. School actually seems quite easy now.

Anyway. I'm exhausted and I still am kind sore from yesterday.

My kid brother decided it would be okay to tell me he wished I was disowned by my parents because I'm not straight... That's just fucking great. I spent an hour or so crying and I just don't feel very happy right now... What he said really hurt. I played minecraft for a while, just building stuff to take my mind off it while he began to act friendly to my mum since she was angry with him.

My mum and I think it might be because he spends way too much time with my dad, whose homophobic.  He's always told me since I came out. "If you don't want to be judged by your family hide it." He also told me since I wanted to come out my aunt "I'd cause my grandmothers death" which makes me feel even more compelled to just hide it. My moms family is extremely religious and homophobic and I want to tell them because I don't want to feel like I'm hiding something from them.

My dad guilt trips me into not coming out. Only my school friends, my parents and my younger brother know.....

I really just don't want to hide it, but I feel compelled to... I hope I can find something to take my mind off it... I'm really excited for school tomorrow because it seems like that's the only thing that can cheer me up...

Besides that , I didn't really do anything today. I just watched YouTube and talked to my friend. I listened to a lot of music and watched AmandasChronicles, Dan and Phil and Markiplier. Yay! YouTubers!

I'm excited for school tomorrow. I have Science and English like everyday but I also have cooking and Band tomorrow!! My band teacher is pretty cool, but so are all my teachers.

Oh and I found out, my dog is just as lazy as I am :3 (picture above)