My Journal

December 14th 2016

Hey it's been two weeks since I started this.

Didn't go to school, still very weak. But this morning was eventful.

So my mom had quit smoking two months ago. But since she started acting like a bitch to people, she started again. But her main concern was gaining weight since she had lost 40 pounds.

After she told me she had started smoking again the first thing I thought was. "Bitch oh hell no."

I told her about how she wanted and promised me that she would quit. How it was her goal and that no matter how much weight she gained or how much anger she went through, she was going to quit.

I then found her cigarettes and put them beside me and started naming off toxins and poisons that were in cigarettes. Like gas chamber poisons. Nail polish remover. Car exhaust, etc.

She told me that she felt like I was controlling her. I came back with.

"No. You're the one who wanted to quit in the first place. You told me to straighten you out if you decided to go back to that nasty habit." She had really nothing else to say so she just said. "Okay" and allowed me to proceed with flushing 29 cigarettes down the toilet in 2's

Then she got back at me about how I needed to book my appointment for the doctor. And said. "You just flushed my cigarettes down the toilet, which took guts to get away from me. You can call the doctor." Like social anxiety towards phone calls is the same as flushing cigs down a toilet
-_-

It's not like I don't like to make phone calls, cause I don't. But reason being is it feels too awkward.

Anyway, after making the phone call. Later on I started questioning my sexuality, since I really have no clue what my sexuality is. Some ask me how I don't know. But I just don't. I've tried researching different sexual orientations but non seem... Me.

I know I'm into girls, but I'm into guys too and in between. I personally don't care about what's in someone's pants. As long as their a nice and caring person, that's all I wish for. I think I may be Pansexual? Or , I don't know. I just know I'm not straight.

I don't like not knowing things about myself, it makes me feel angry.

Anyway. My dad came into town and I found out the Norway had a butter crisis in 2011 and butter prices were raised up to 50 Canadian dollars for butter. Norwegian people really like their butter. You can't really blame them, butter is amazing with pretty much everything. Especially certain breads. Yummy!

Enough talk of butter.

I laid around for a bit, being tired. Played minecraft for a bit and worked out. And ate a shit ton of oranges.... what is up with me and oranges? I dunno.

After going to dinner and just getting a milkshake... I just laid around more.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow so hopefully that will be good. Two days left until winter break. Yasss!!