Depressing poems

Just a "break up"

it hurts
more than i thought it would
heart break
and heart ache
yet i was the one
who caused it

im in pain
i cant even fathom
how much more pain he is in

i went to delete the pictures
i cant
i cry when i look at them
a reminder of what i had
and what i gave up

everyday i felt like shit
for a week
not wanting to do anything
forcing a smile
faking a laugh
cuz i cant stand the question
"whats wrong"
when i cant even answer it
but secretly upset

ive been down
and now
now i feel free
and it makes me sad
because i loved being with him
but i truly wasnt happy
and i realize that now
but that realization
causes my tears to flow

how can i go
and ruin us
when i cared so much
how could i be unhappy
when it was him who could say one thing
look at me one way
and put a smile on my face

but yet
so sad
so upset
so confused
so lost

it was for the best
i was being a bitch anyways
losing my temper
getting angry
being sarcastic
saying mean things
because i was hurting
i was hurting because of him
but i hurt him back

i told him
he can change his facebook status
back to single
cause im done

little did he know that as i did it
and as he tried to hold onto me
tears flowed down my face
tears i couldnt stop
tears i had to cry silently
to not wake anyone
to not let him know
tears i still cry
because i still care
and always will

during the day
im happy
nothing can bring me down
im not angry
or sad
or confused
or constantly worrying
im free

but then the night comes
and i cant hide from it any longer
i think of him
i stare at the pictures
and cry as silently as i can
afraid of being caught

all i want to do
is be home and run to him
and tell him im sorry
and be with him once more

but i know it will never work
he has a job
and im never home
when school comes
that will be my main focus

during the summer was hard
both having to help with yard and house work
me wanting to hang with my best friend
him not getting home til 5
hardly seeing each other
never really talking
nothing left to say

i cant help but miss him
especially late at night
even though
we we're "friends"

its better this way
as only "friends"
friends dont usually cause as much heartbreak
when a fallout happens