Love Lessons

C H A P T E R S I X T E E N || JESS

|➳| SOMEDAY WE'LL GET IT RIGHT |➳|

"Jess, are you fucking me right now?" Riley shrieked. Grimacing at her loud voice, I sank back further into the futon. After our weekend separated from each other, Riley and I sat across the futon and caught up on our weekend. I could barely form the words explaining what happened and even though I clearly didn't share every detail, Riley was able to catch on. Just thinking about what happened left butterflies in my stomach and a stupid grin on my face.

"Riley," I hissed, trying to get her to calm down. The last thing I needed was one of the guys to walk over here and here what we're discussing. Pushing my messy hair behind my ear, I waited patiently for her to calm down.

"I don't know what to do now." I muttered. What Cole and I did was a huge step for me. Not only would I never do that with anyone else, I wasn't sure where that left us. Despite my new found determination to do dirty things to him, I had an inkling that I was just another girl to him. I knew I was just around to get his parents off his back; I wasn't oblivious to that. But what if I started feeling things for him? I couldn't handle the idea that he could possibly be using me to get off.

Despite my knowledge from movies and stupid books, I was completely unaware what could happen in a "fake" relationship. Did people even do it? Was it just some kind of story producers and writers used to draw people into a stupid love life? I'm well aware that people "fall in love", but what if that didn't happen? Did they just walk away with no strings attached?

I had no idea what to expect. I knew once he claimed he would give me love lessons that it would involve some intimacy, but we basically hooked up in a room like we were attracted to each other. I couldn't lie, I did enjoy the feeling of his stupid magical fingers, even if that made me somewhat of a whore.

"What do you mean?" Riley asked softly, pulling me from my thoughts. Times like this, I was jealous of Riley. She was drop dead gorgeous; she could get anyone she wanted without any hassle. She didn't have to worry about rejection or inexperience because everyone always wanted her. Riley didn't have to think about anything; she just went with the flow.

"I mean, where does this leave us? Now that we've done stuff, what happens? Is he going to assume we're having sex? Do you think his magical fingers turned me into some kind of whore and I'll get shit ton of attraction?"

"Don't say that again." Riley grimaced, scrunching her nose up in disgust. Shaking her head, she brushed her fingers through her hair. "I think you're reading into this too much, Jess. Honestly, I would just let it flow. If you try too hard it's going to go to shit. You and I both know you have a habit of overthinking everything. You're finally experiencing college, and sure, it may be different than you thought, but at least you're getting some. What are you worried about?" I can't believe we're having this conversation.

"I'm scared I'll fall for him. He could break me." The words left my mouth before I could stop them. Riley and I sat in silence for a moment before she spoke again. Rubbing my arm softly, Riley smiled at me.

"You can't help who you fall for, babe." She smiled. "Maybe he's your light. He clearly has a soft spot for you. Everything happens for a reason, hon. It may be the best thing that's ever happened to the both of you."

"What if it's not?"

"Why do you have to think that way? Try to keep a positive outlook. You're in control, Jess."