Love Lessons

Chapter Thirty Eight: Demons

38| Cole

            ~*~ Demons ~*~

            It hasn’t been long, but Jess and I were coming along way. Each day was a different step and after we got rid of the heavy burden of her past, we decided that we would only move forward. I got her a new journal to write her thoughts in, and though I was curious to exactly what she was writing in there, I was respecting her space. I knew that if she was falling into her depressive states again that I would be there to help her best that I could. I would not let her deal with her problems herself and I did not want her to isolate herself. I made sure that she was still going to her therapist once a week, though she claimed she didn’t need it, sometimes it might be better to talk to someone who you weren’t dating. I’ve learned that you cannot force her to talk about what is bothering her, she’ll tell me when she’s ready and that’s what I’ll have to wait for.

            My father and I were on good terms. I was learning things about him that I didn’t know about him growing up and it made me regret how much I hated him. Sure, he wasn’t the perfect father, but he was always around, unlike to what I believed, he always saw one of my football games or my basketball games. He wasn’t physically there but was able to watch it when he could. I wish he would have told me about it, but we all make mistakes. My father and I were starting fresh, no longer bound to negative thoughts and feelings because of my mother. She was nowhere to be found or heard from and frankly, I didn’t care. At first, I was annoyed. I hoped that she would have called and apologized and made right with me because I am her only son, but that would be too much to ask for. Instead, Jess’s father and my father have become best friends and apparently are using the one arm to their advantage. Our relationship was going smoothly…too smoothly.

            I thought about where our next step was going to be. It sounded ridiculous, but I couldn’t help it. Almost every night Jess and I slept together- in the innocent term of course. She would read on her Kindle Fire for a while, her big glasses on and her massive hair let loose. Her makeup was always cleaned off and even with her retainer in, she was still attractive to me; that’s how I knew I was going crazy. I couldn’t stand the thought of falling asleep without her next to me. I was in fucking college! How could I even feel that way yet? I always questioned how I was still so young yet I was so madly in love with her. My questions are always answered when I look at her. Just the sight of her makes my heart beat faster and I see the girl who made my life better. I could tell her a million times and I don’t think she’d ever believe me. I was going crazy deep into our relationship it was scaring me. I saw her hold a dog yesterday and somehow I pictured her with our kid. What college kid thinks of having his own children, especially in his first year!

            Two months have passed by and Tyler was avoiding Jerry like the plague.  It was clear that he was still upset and Jerry harping on him every five minutes was not helping the cause. Shunning out Jerry was Tyler’s way of handling the situation. He still wasn’t over their relationship or what broke them apart but he was trying his best to be happy. However, he was not making the best decisions. Often he would come home late from a party completely trashed or I would find him smoking weed in our dorm. Sure, I was used to the party life and just because I was in a relationship didn’t mean that I forgot about those things; I was just never addicted them. Every time I checked in on him, his response was that he was fine.  I knew that was far from the truth, but I knew that I needed to give him his own space.

            Jess was not on board with letting Tyler figure out his own problems. Occasionally she would kick me out of the room and they would talk- well, Jess would talk and Tyler would pretend to listen. Unfortunately, nothing was working. I was sure that Jess was going to set him down for an intervention any time soon and I’m sure Tyler assumed the same thing. It was a gloomy Thursday and Jess was trying to convince Tyler to stay in tonight. Tyler attended Thirsty Thursday parties religiously and I knew that my crazy girlfriend wasn’t going to change his mind today. Tyler was doing his best trying to ignore Jess who was blabbing his ear off about plenty of things he could do tonight that didn’t deal with alcohol, weed, or drunken hookups. I wanted to bash my head into the booth’s table and end this misery, but instead I forced myself to listen to them go back and forth. The vintage diner was the place to be and sold the best food. I came here all the time before parties, knowing that I could eat the greasy food without getting sick from it.