Love Lessons

Chapter Nineteen: Teenage Dream

Chapter Nineteen| Cole

                I was in a good mood all day today. Usually it would have been because it is Friday and that meant that someone somewhere was throwing a kick ass party. Tonight it meant that I was spending the night with Jess. I felt so stupid for asking her, something I thought I wasn’t going to have to do. I wasn’t used to someone not falling for my charm or fighting me off or telling me like it was; I was used to the easy girls that did whatever I wanted and threw themselves at me. Unfortunately, I didn’t want an easy girl; I wanted Jess.

                Well, I think I want her. I’m not really sure anymore. To be honest, the idea of dating someone like her is a little scary, people on the team would constantly make fun of her if the fight they had caused about a month ago didn’t scare them off, and then they wouldn’t hesitate to make fun of her now. There was something that pulled me to her, it could be because she is different or because she’s been through something so difficult she refuses to talk about it and it changed her drastically. I think about how I want to be someone she confides in and she feels safe around if something were to happen.

                My mother had called me the other day, asking about Thanksgiving. When was I going to be home? Was I aware of the big family dinner we have every year? I didn’t want to go, and honestly, I would skip the whole thing if it meant that I wouldn’t have to see my parents, but I don’t mind the rest of my family, and now that I was bringing Jess, I was excited. I wasn’t sure why, but she was turning me into a nicer person. Looking back, I don’t feel I am the same person I was when I first kissed Jess in that closet in the beginning of the year. Jess made me analyze situations and realize the important things rather than being laid or who was going to throw the best party. I was starting to panic on the feelings I have been having for her, but I couldn’t run away. I didn’t want to leave her, it seemed as if she had a lot of people leave her in her life and I didn’t want to be one of them.

                When my father and I were still close, he and I had deep conversations. He always told me that one day I was going to find someone that I would want to spend every moment with, help, and want to make her smile. At the time, I was only in middle school and that seemed ridiculous to any twelve year old at the time. I mean, at that time I only cared about what food was being served at lunch and if Jamie Henry was going to wear a low, enough top so I could see some boobs. Now, I understood what he was talking about.

                My phone was buzzing in my pocket, taking me out of my thoughts. I knew that if I kept thinking about Jess, I was going to scare myself away from her because I was the type of guy who actually wanted to be in a relationship, I just didn’t know how to be in one. I pulled my phone out, reading a message from my mother.

                Don’t you think it’s a little early to invite your girlfriend over to meet the family? I rolled my eyes at her message, annoyed with her opinions. I didn’t like the way she treated Jess and I didn’t appreciate how she felt the need to control every aspect of my life. I was in college; I was too old for this shit.

                I didn’t ask you; I’m telling you. Jess is coming over and you had better treat her as if she’s important otherwise, I will not come home anymore. I sent, angry with my mother. Leave it to her to ruin my completely fucking mood. Packing up my stuff from my desk in the math classroom, I headed out the door and ran into Tyler.

                “Yo, so are you for sure staying at Jess’s tonight?” He asked casually. Of course, it was anything but casual. He was a little too eager to have a little one on one time with his new guy and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Sure, I didn’t care that he was dating Jerry, I wasn’t a homophobe, what I wasn’t sure about was how much they were playing around when I didn’t know they were a thing. Did they fool around the nights I passed out and they were still awake or were they getting it on when they were at a party? So many questions roll through my mind that I almost forgot to answer him.