Just A Fading Memory

6

CC

In my dream I was in a dark room. How my nightmare usually started. Lovely this again. I thought but something was different. I wasn't tied down. I looked around and a light came on. No I most definitely wasn't tied down, but Jake was. I rushed to him and tried to free him but a hand on my shoulder pulled me away.
"You know what to do." The person who was originally my tormentor handed me something. Oh my......they want me to kill Jake. No I refuse to do that. You may as well have asked me to kill Matt. Jake looked at me and I backed away.
"Do it Christian. It's okay. I understand." Jake wasn't even trying to struggle or anything. How could he be okay with this?! He knows I was told to kill him right?

"No....I won't do it!"

"It's okay."

"No! I won't kill you Jake!" I dropped what was in my hand and turned away from Jake.
The needle was shoved back into my hand. "Do it!"

"No!"

"Christian please." I couldn't believe my ears. Jake was BEGGING me to kill him. I looked down at the needle in my hand and did the unimaginable. I shoved the needle into my arm.
"You're so stupid!" I felt Jake's arms around me which was weird because he was tied down a second ago. He sounded mad and like he was trying not to cry.

"Christian........wake up."
I woke in tears. I wasn't shaking or hyperventilating or anything. Just crying silently. "Did you have the nightmare again?" Jake asks me softly. I embraced him tightly as I kept crying. That was more terrifying then the other one I think. "I'm guessing I was in it?"

"They wanted me to kill you with the same thing that killed me. How am I still alive? They killed me didn't they?"
Jake looked uneasy. No......He was keeping secrets as well? "You didn't tell me everything did you?"

"I didn't. Yes they did kill you. They fled and I showed up a few minutes later with the police. You were already dead I could tell. You were ashen gray and I called your name but you didn't answer. I untied you and you were ice cold and stiff as a board in my arms. The police called the Paramedics and an officer had to hold me back from you. If you could've seen me then. I was a hot mess. They got you on a stretcher and into the ambulance. I almost wasn't allowed to go with you if I couldn't keep calm but after I begged them they let me. The paramedics hooked you up to a heart monitor and it broke my heart hearing the flatline. They put an oxygen mask on you and pulled out the paddles to try and restart your heart. They tried three times and then pronounced you legally dead." Jake was in tears now and I told him he could stop telling me but he insisted on finishing. "I begged and pleaded with them to try one more time. They finally did and your heart started beating frantically until it eventually slowed to a regular beat. You were out cold but alive and that's all that mattered to me. I called Matt for moral support and he came and stayed with me while I sat by your bed. When you woke you were confused at first then became hysterical when a nurse tried to give you an IV. I tried to calm you and you did but when I said your name you went ballistic again. The doctor made me leave and said I wasn't allowed to be around you anymore. Matt promised me he'd protect you and I left without a goodbye. I tried to find you again months later but Matt had hidden you away from me and told me if I wanted what was best for you I'd stay away. I loved you Christian so very much I couldn't stay away. I still can't. I don't know how you ended up being tortured anyways and neither does Matt. That's basically the entire story." Jake wipes his eyes and sniffled.

I was speechless, but oddly enough I wasn't panicked or hit with an attack. I was just stunned. I finally had the answers I wanted. I don't know what I was expecting to feel.