thoughts, poems and teenage shit

Message Anxiety

Saturday, 1:32 PM

I almost messaged you today.

I didn't.

I guess you could say I'm selfish?

that my thoughts are out of line?

I wanted your words

I wanted your thoughts

I wanted all your time.

but since you didn't message me back I guess you're doing just fine.

my mind was screaming to just send a 'hey'

but my fingers did not do the same.

just send the text

just say hello!

maybe she's feeling the same!

No, she can't feel the same.

I'm me.

She's just...her.

Amazing.

Smart.

limitless.

Am I pestering her?

Is she busy?

Does she not want to talk?

Is she okay?

Does she not want to talk to me, is she angry??

MY.

MIND.

WONT.

SHUT.

OFF.

anxiety fills me

and not the happy type.

Not the type I get when I see her;

Not the type that fills me as she graces me with her presence.

With her eyes.

With her smile.

With her laugh.

If only...

if only I could just get over this.

I feel stupid.

Am I really freaking out over the fact she hasn't texted in a day?

Yeah,

I am.

I need to stop.

She will text me when she can...

I hope.

Until then, I'll just wait.

Try not to think about it.

But It's not that easy

god, I wish it was that easy.

So I wait.

And wait.

and wait.

Sunday, 8:47 pm

Her: Hey ✨

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yes I wrote that pls don't steal coz... that's mean 

I'm such a dork

byeeeee

A