You needed it.

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When she asks if you're okay, tell her you are, and try to ignore the metal in your mouth as you taste your own lie.

When you go through your phone and pause with your finger over the "delete contact" button, press it even though it feels like it's burning your hand. 

No good will come from keeping it.

When you pass old spots and waves of nostalgia crash over you, 

do not cry, 

instead grit your teeth and ball your hands into fists and walk past it ignoring the lump in your throat.

When you see she likes your photos,your tweets, your writing,

 ignore the way your heart pounds in your ears and focus on moving on instead.

And when you break,

 and go to talk to her, 

remember that it took you over an hour to work up the nerve.

Grit your teeth and ignore how every cell in your body is screaming to run away.

Instead,

 take a deep breathe,

 unclench your jaw, 

open your mouth, and say "hello."

 Make awkward small talk and ignore your brain screaming everything you want to say.

And when she sits down beside you, 

and you forget how to breathe, 

remember that she never apologized for breaking you, 

but you apologized 7 times for being angry about it.

And when she says your name for the first time in months, 

do not cry. 

Instead, 

smile and ask her how she's been.

When she hugs you goodbye, 

close your eyes and pretend you're not about to burst into tears. 

Enjoy that hug, 

god knows you needed it

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