Beautiful When You Don't Try

Chapter 14

           

The last time Camila woke up next to Lauren, she had watched her sleep cautiously, fearing that the brunette would wake up and be a little creeped out by her observant gaze. But now she laid there content as she let her eyes slowly wander over the brunette's features. She was like an angel when she slept, Camila decided. Even now as she laid on her stomach with her hand placed on the mattress near her face, and her brunette locks flowing over the pillow that she wasn't using and had pushed up towards the head board, she looked every bit peaceful and complacent. Camila just listened to her slow and calm breathing with such concentration that her own breaths became in sync with her lovers.

She felt a pull at her heart when she thought back to high school and tried to imagine what her younger self would have thought if she and Lauren had ended up in this position back then. Would she have been able to see past the bitchy cheerleader that was the target of everyone's affection to see the mild mannered, yet vulnerable woman she sees now? She didn't think she would have. Camila had always known Lauren was just hurt and lashing out at her, but she wouldn't have been able to see beyond the brunette's guarded walls, and shamefully, wouldn't have even tried.

Seven years was a long time to have gone without what she had experienced within just the last week, but it was time that was necessary for both of them. Lauren had to learn to drop at least some of her walls, while Camila needed to look deeper into people, beyond the answers she may have been looking for. She had to learn that while some people are exactly as they appear, others are far more complex personalities to try and navigate, Lauren being one of those.

Their encounter with Ally had left Camila feeling she had rushed things, and pushed Lauren into something she wasn't ready for. The brunette still had a lot of demons to face in Miami that Camila had never accounted for, yet she never hesitated in agreeing to come back with the diva. Now Camila was just confused with which way to handle their situation. These were all issues Lauren was going to be confronted with once they came out and reporters starting prying for dirt, but was it best to try and help Lauren deal with them now, or just delay announcing their romance? This vacation really was forcing them to learn one another and develop the base of their relationship. There were no nervous first introductions or lists of favorite colors and foods, or even a brief childhood history. They had already known those things. They were diving right into the big issues. And it was terrifying.

Camila laid on her side while she watched the brunette and glided her right hand over the cool sheets to Lauren's, hesitating before she lightly traced her finger with her own. Her large chocolate eyes scanned Lauren's face for any sign that she was disturbing her before she continued. She moved her middle finger up to Lauren's knuckle, just barely grazing her skin, and then down the back of her hand. Camila use to think intimacy was simply sex. But being with Lauren, she had realized that something as simple as this touch could be a hundred times more intimate then having sex. Her senses weren't running wild like they do in the heat of passion but were funneled and focused on the smallest, most minute sensation to the point it enveloped her. She understood Lauren's need for touching now. Instead of losing yourself in the other all the time, touching left her with the sensation of finding herself. Of feeling everything instead of not being able to get enough.

She removed her hand and braced herself on her elbow, moving to lightly graze the soft skin with her lips, but never kissing. She slowly trailed her brushing grazes to the brunette's wrist and lightly kissed there before continuing at a languid pace over her forearm, placing another kiss at the bend of her arm before moving further up. The higher she managed on Lauren's shoulder, the more frequent and heavy the kisses were until the brunette began to stir. Camila then moved her free hand to the other side of Lauren's body to brace herself above the turning brunette.