Beautiful When You Don't Try

Chapter 38

           

"Late night?" Kim asked as she cautiously sat down in front of Lauren's desk. The brunette was reclined in her chair with her eyes closed, relishing the early morning quiet. She opened her eyes and cleared her throat, peeking at the clock to see if she had actually fallen asleep.

"Yeah. Camila's show didn't end until late and the evening was emotionally draining as well."

Kim ran her flat hands over her skirt as she nodded her head. She had read about Jakes' forwardness on one of the diva's fan sites that she frequented. Though, she was on there less lately due to her direct contact with her idol. "Did you need help with anything?" Lauren looked blankly at her assistant, unsure of how to answer. Her brain wasn't moving fast enough yet. "Your schedule is up to date and your messages have been sorted. Is there anything else you need?"

Lauren shook her head, unsure if there was or not. "Do you know where Meg is? She supposed to be reviewing the lighting set ups."

The brunette nodded slowly, sitting forward in her seat and looking down at her shoes. "I do believe she and your newly arrived friend are occupying the restroom at the moment."

Lauren slapped her hand to her face. This was getting ridiculous. It was the second day in a row where her apprentice was proving useless, both days due to Ally's interference. "Do you think they locked the door, or can I go and hose them down?"

Kim laughed lightly at the idea. "It's probably locked." There was a moment of silence that she spent still looking down at her shoes while Lauren spent it looking at her. "So, are those two dating now?"

The brunette let out a long sigh. "With Ally, it's just sex. Sex is not dating. It may end up as dating if she's not careful though. Meg has a way of dragging people in without them even knowing." The assistant huffed another laugh and Lauren hesitated. "Kim, can I ask you a question?"

The brunette looked up eagerly and nodded her head.

Lauren worried her lip and leaned forward, bracing her forearms on her desk. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to. Okay? And your answer can be kept strictly between the two of us if you would like, but...are you gay?"

"No." Kim answered quickly and shook her head adamantly as Lauren sat back again, taking the pressure off of the suddenly nervous girl.

"Okay. I was just asking because you remind me a little bit of myself when I was in denial." The brunette slowed her shakes and looked curiously at Lauren, hoping she would continue. "I was raised with the very strict belief that homosexuality was one of the worst sins you could commit. But as I started developing what I refused to call 'feelings' for Camila in high school, I swayed my opinions on the topic to make myself feel more comfortable about it. I said that homosexuality was fine and I would be doing nothing wrong unless I acted in such a way. If I didn't act gay, then I wasn't and therefore had not committed a sin."

Lauren watched as her assistant unconsciously nodded her head in the slightest of motions.

"I spent most of my high school and college years alone or in relationships with guy who did nothing but put me on edge and made me feel uncomfortable around them. I was on the lookout for sexual advances that I wasn't interested in. Eventually, I just stopped dating all together. I was lonely, missing something in my life that would have made me whole. Then one night, Meg kissed me. I didn't want to push her away, but actually wanted her closer. I knew right way that this was what was missing. Not Meg, specifically." Lauren assured her. "But the comfort in attraction."

Kim was tuned in to what Lauren was saying and she knew without a doubt that they younger girl knew exactly what she was talking about. The brunette stood up and smiled at her assistant as she walked out of the office to give her time to think.