Debt

nineteen

selyse harrison

Test anxiety is something I've never stressed about. But today was my first exam and despite being as prepared as I can be, I still didn't feel confident. It might've had something to do with how I was most likely going to see Gabby. I hadn't heard from her, but I packed all her things and allowed Jack to figure out what to do with it. He used his men to hunt her down. She was staying at a hotel because her mother arrived, so they dropped her things up there. 

I walked down the stairs, smelling my favourite cinnamon pancakes. I arrived downstairs and found Jack seated at the dining table reading a newspaper as he waited for me.

"How're you feeling?" Jack folded his paper. I shrugged, grabbing a small croissant from the table. As much as I wanted to eat, I didn't have the stomach for it. I feared that anything I ate would come up.

"Not good."

"I could tell. You were restless last night," he dished himself food while I stood behind my usual chair.

"Sorry. I'm just really nervous. I'm not feeling confident," I took small bites of my croissant. I could barely stand still. All I wanted to do was throw up.

"You've been studying a lot. You know more than you think you do," he did his best to make me feel better. Throughout my studying, Jack has been supportive. Before bed he'll go over all my flash cards with me and won't let me sleep until I've gotten everything correct. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to help.

"How did things go with Nico? Did he say his terms?" I changed the topic, hoping my mind could be cleared. Jack shares limited stuff about his work life and it was probably for the best. The little that I've seen of him at work is enough for me.

"His terms were unreasonable in my books. I listened to them, but have no intentions of fulfilling them. I told him no and he has 48 hours to decide before I make a decision for him," he leaned back into his seat, taking a sip of his coffee.

"What will you do if he doesn't cooperate?" I nervously asked because part of me was nervous to hear the answer. So far I've still managed to compartmentalize the version of him that he is outside the penthouse.

"You know, I'm always open and honest with you, but there's some things I don't think you'll benefit from knowing," his green eyes stared at me to see my reaction. I put the remainder of my croissant on a plate in front of me. "Have you heard from your father?" Jack straightened the napkin on his lap. I don't know why Jack randomly thought of my father, but I hoped it was just out of curiosity.

With everything going on lately, Christmas has hardly been a thought on my mind. But this would be my first Christmas without my parents. I wondered whether they had made it to where they intended to go because they've yet to call me. But maybe they were worried to call because of Jack.

"No. He said he would call when they're somewhere safe. But I haven't heard anything. I'm growing worried, to be honest," I admitted with a sigh. Now that I'm aware my father is alive, all I would love to do is spend time with my parents. "If I asked him to come here, would you protect them?" It was a hard question to ask because deep down I knew Jack's answer.

"You of all people know it doesn't work like that, Sely," he reminded me. I slowly nodded. It was still worth asking. We stayed in silence until he finally spoke up. "I'm going on a golf trip. It's in Northern California so I'll be staying a night or two," he stated and for some reason I hated the idea. I've seen Jack everyday since the moment I moved here. My attachment to him was probably growing unhealthy and time apart would likely do both of us good.

"Oh. With who?" I nervously bit my thumb. Time apart would likely make my heart grow fonder, but what if it gave him a chance to entertain other women? It was a stupid thought I had no reason having. Jack has proved he's only for me.