25 or 6 to 4 {EDITING}

A Little Trom-bonding

~One week later~

"They'll be sectionals after school today before practice," Andrea announced. "We're going to practice the music for the parade."

"So, what time?" Zoe asked.

"4 o'clock," Andrea answered. "We really need to go over the music before the parade next week."

It had been a week since we came back from band camp. Our first parade was next Thursday, and I was a nervous wreck. I could still barely play the instrument, let alone be able to march while playing and try to keep in step at the same time. A lot of you would probably tell me to go practice, but that was just out of the question. I was not emotionally prepared for that. Not yet.

Shortly after the bell rang to end sixth period, I got a text from Andrea.

andrea: Hey guys I can't be at sectionals today I have to go to tutoring
Practice the parade music!!

Let me guess, Dylan's going to take over again, I thought. Dylan was always taking charge of the section when Andrea wasn't around. Not that I had any problem with Dylan, I just wished he didn't hate it when we looked to him when Andrea wasn't around. Whenever the drum majors asked us to hold sectionals in class, we always turned to Dylan, but he'd just get irritated and say he's not the section leader. I think he's one of those people who likes to be in charge, but doesn't like everyone to rely on him. To be perfectly honest, I have no place to judge him.

I pulled up my keyboard and texted:

RainOnAStarryNight: Nuu andrea we need you
U still going to be at practice

andrea: Yeah it shouldn't take too long

Zoe: We can ask Dylan to help us

andrea: Yeah he knows the music
Play loud!

I shook my head and slipped my phone back in my pocket. That seemed to be Andrea's favorite saying - "play loud." Every single practice, every single time someone brings up a band thing coming up, you'd find Andrea there.

"Play loud!"

I wish I could have a dollar for every single time Andrea has said "play loud," "ew," or "adorable."

We'll get to that story later.

I found Zoe and Jessica in the locker room putting their trombones together when I returned to school. I got my case out of the big locker and did the same. Dylan walked in a few minutes just as I had begun to screw the two pieces of the trombone together. Jessica snickered. "Hey, section leader."

Dylan turned to her and pointed his hand at her face. "No. I'm not the section leader and I don't want to be section leader," he explained. Jessica just stared at him with the same wide, creepy grin on her face.

We moved some stands into the locker room and closed the door. Right as Dylan attempted to speak, someone knocked on the door. Dylan huffed and turned around to open the door. Quite a few of the saxophones pushed through him and entered the room. "Oie," Dylan said, "can't you see we're trying to do something here?"

"Yeah," one of them, Jesus, answered. "We're here to join you."

Dylan sighed and waved them off. "Let's start with Don't Stop Believing," he said finally.

The sequence of songs for the parade were, in order: Don't Stop Believing, 25 or 6 to 4, Fight Song, and On Wisconsin. The only song I could play even a little bit of was 25 or 6 to 4. Sadly, after three weeks of band, that was the only full-length song (I'm not counting Band Cheer or Everybody Dance Now) that I could play the first few measures of. I'm horrible.

As we went through the songs without the music, especially Don't Stop Believing, I noticed that I could play some of the right notes, even though I was guessing. I was pretty shocked. Granted, I was looking at Dylan's positions, but it's different when someone gives you a position to play and actually being able to play the note they want you to. Brass instruments are complicated. Unlike the woodwinds, where each note has a specific fingering, brass instruments has limited valves/slide positions, so in order to play a higher note, you have to tighten your lips or loosen them to play a lower note. Now that I'm more familiar with the trombone, it isn't too hard to get the right notes just hearing someone else play, but at that point, that was a big thing for me.

Andrea walked into the building just as we were heading into the band room for pizza before practice. "How'd it go?" she asked.

Dylan pointed at us. "These guys still don't know the music."

Andrea shook her head. "We'll have another sectional on Friday. Keep practicing guys," she said as she walked into the band room.

I know I've been talking a lot about sentimental stuff, but bare with me, I'm on the verge of tears again right now. You'll see why.

So there I was, sitting in the band room eating pizza with Zoe and Jessica. They were laughing and joking around with a few other friends, not really paying too much attention to me. I stared at the trombone in front of me. Never in over a year have I been able to play an instrument without thinking I suck every time I start to think about it. By now, I had almost come to accept that I'd never be able to play an instrument. Being in sectionals really made me see - I actually care if I get better. In fact, I want to get better. I didn't want to be that one person that couldn't play. Ever since I was little, I had always said to myself that I'd know I had found the right instrument when I enjoyed practicing it. I had never felt that with any of the instruments I had picked up. Not even the clarinet.

Have I finally found my instrument?

I pulled the tuning slide to my forehead as I felt the tears sting my eyes. No, no, Kaylee, why now? I tried to calm down, but I couldn't stop what I knew now to be true. I was happy with this instrument, and I was determined to improve. After a year of being so frustrated and miserable with myself because I couldn't achieve what I've always dreamed of, I had finally grasped my chance.

And I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything.

A few moments later, I heard a gasp from Zoe. "Oh my goodness, Kaylee, are you alright?!"

This just made me cry even more. She cares?

I nodded. "No you're not," she said. She grabbed my head in her hands.

"No, really," I said, "I'm okay."

"Then why are you crying?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I finally found an instrument that I like."

_

Hey...this is getting depressing now...but this was just waaaay too important to leave out.

I kind of don't want to push the publish button...but I have to...

I promise, there are no more chapters of me crying for a while...maybe like 2 chapters...

I'm going to go cry in a corner now...

Stealthheart