Sincerely Me

Chapter 5

May and Sam had decided on a meeting place close enough to remember its location but far enough out so no one would find it. Today would be their first 'meeting'. May was incredibly nervous. She didn't know what to expect. She tried her best to stay as confident as possible, but five seconds after arriving at the spot, she was freaking out and pacing in circles. 

May kept running over thoughts in her head, 'What if he doesn't show?' and 'What if he doesn't like me?' or 'Maybe he changed his mind?’.  She couldn't stop second guessing everything. 

She was about to turn around and head back home but as she turned, her eyes met with those all too familiar blue ones as she walked straight into Sam, "Whoa, slow down there"

May suddenly became speechless. It was as if the words were caught in her throat. All she could do was look at Sam. May still caught in Sam's arms and completely lost for words, he spoke up, "Are you alright?"

It took May a few seconds to acknowledge that she was being asked a question, “Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I’m okay.” Sam let a smile creep across his face, which helped May to relax a little bit. May loosened up her body and Sam let go of her, “Is this place okay? I didn’t know the kind of places you like going to but I remember you talking about the tree house you had with your sister when you were younger. It reminded me of the tree I had when I was a kid…” Sam pointed to the huge tree behind May, “…come on, I’ll show you” Sam took May’s hand in his and led her over to the tree. The contact made May anxious. This was the only time the two had ever touched apart from when they accidently bumped into each other. This time, the emotion was heightened, it was more intense. May was afraid that she would never be able to get the invisible imprint of Sam’s hand off her own. He was going to stay with her forever, no matter what she did to try to erase him.

The two found their way to the opposite side of the tree. Sam ran his fingers down the trunk of the tree, feeling the bark at his fingertips while keeping hold of May’s hand with his other one. Edged within the tree was initials, S.W and T.W. May figured S.W stood for Sam Wallen but she couldn’t think of who T.W was. May didn’t have to wait long to get her answer, “My dad and I use to come here a lot before he left. It was a place we use to hang out, he taught me how to kick a footy out here. He was my favourite person in the whole world. He made me see the world in a bright light that made everyone seem like angels and when he left, he took that light, leaving only demons. I never thought that I would come back here, I swore to myself that I wouldn’t let myself see things through someone else’s light. But then I met you and your light shone too bright to ignore…” May reached her free hand and ran it down the tree, next to where Sam’s hand remained. She loved the person he was when he was with her. It was as if he kept a secret personality hidden away, just for her and that made everything else okay because she had something that no one else did, the real Sam, “…that’s why I chose here. I don’t know, I just thought that it can be the spot we meet up. Somewhere special, somewhere for us”

Sam smiled at the ground, almost as if he was nervous. May thought about the courage it took to repeat that story, then she wondered how many people had heard it before. The look on Sam’s face expressed that she might have been the first, “I think that his place is perfect and special”

Sam took a sharp piece of bark and began to scratch something into the tree, next to where his initials were engraved. After he was finished, he looked at May, “This place is yours now too” May looked at the tree and saw that Sam had etched ‘M.S’ within the tree. May let herself smile, it was nice to feel accepted, something May hadn’t been for a while.

For the next few hours, Sam and May took their time getting to know each other, off paper. May learnt more about Sam’s dad, Tyler. He left when Sam was 14. He doesn’t know why or where he went, all he knew was one day he just didn’t come home. May learnt that Sam’s mum was a kindergarten teacher. May learnt about Sam’s fears, he was afraid of big spiders, snakes, the dark, being abandoned and being rejected. May learnt that Sam actually hated most of the people he hangs out with at school, they are all fake and cruel to everyone. Sam hated fake people. May also learnt about the sparkle in Sam’s eyes when he smiled or how he twitches his nose every so often, she learnt about how contagious Sam’s smile could be. May also learnt that it only takes a few hours with someone to completely, foolishly yet beautifully fall for them.

Sam learnt about May’s parents and how their divorce had such an impact on her, and how much she missed her sister because she lived with her dad while May stayed with her mum. He learnt that thunderstorms frightened May because they reminded her of her parents fighting. He learnt how small the world made her feel because she wasn’t as loud and didn’t have mind-blowingly attractive qualities. He learnt how the ocean sooths her when she is angry. He learnt about her love for adventure although she had never been past her front door. Sam learnt how alone May felt most of the time and how she was drowning in her own silence. He also learnt how the sun makes her eyes shine a bright green and how her freckles outline her cheeks, he learnt that her hands were soft and he liked how they felt in his. Sam also learnt how much he loved the sound of May’s laugh and that he would give anything to have it replay incessantly because it was his new favourite sound. Sam also learnt what it felt like to fall completely, foolishly yet beautifully for someone in a matter of hours.