Sincerely Me

Chapter 8

May did as Sam asked and went to their place. She had already planned to forgive him the moment she saw him but she loved hearing him talk about her in such a loving manner. She could listen to him all day. Although she forgave him or was going to, she was still hurt and she knew that it was going to take some time to fully trust him again but she was willing to try.

Whenever May was there, at the tree, she couldn’t help but run her fingers across hers and Sam’s initials. She remembered the first time they were there. She remembered Sam making her feel warm and wanted. She loved the way he made her feel accepted.

She was deep in thought when Sam walked over and tapped her on the shoulder. May jumped, shocked from the sudden contact but relaxed a little when she turned and saw Sam, “Sorry if I scared you”

May let out a heavy breath, “You didn’t scare me”

May started lightly laughing. She let her body fall, knowing the tree behind her would catch her. She ran her hand through her hair. Sam couldn’t help but smile. May had this effect over him. Everything she did every word she spoke, the very person she was. He loved every piece. Every scare, every flaw, every movement. He loved her.

Sam had started to stare, taking in every aspect of May’s being.

“What are you staring at?” May’s kind voice broke the trance Sam had fallen into.

“You”

May didn’t know how to reply, she still felt insecure about herself.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

Sam’s voice echoed in her ears. That word, beautiful. It was the last word that May would use to describe herself. She had come to hate it’s meaning. Everyday she would see these girls that held beauty in the world’s eyes. She hated them. It was foolish but she did. She hated them for being beautiful, for being seen as such. May had never been seen that way and she envied those who were. Then there was Sam, the boy who stood before her, claiming she processed the same beauty that other girls carried, “No I’m not”

May put her head down, trying to hide her face by looking at her feet. Sam took a step closer to her, “You don’t believe me?”

Without looking up, May shook her head, “Why not? You should”

May finally looked up, meeting Sam’s eyes with her own, “I don’t look like other girls. I don’t have what they do…”

As May spoke, Sam got closer until May could feel the warmth radiate from his skin. He placed his index finger over her lips, telling her to shush. He slowly dropped his hand to hold her chin. She sat there as he traced her jawline gently with his fingers. He ran them down her neck, making her shiver. His hand ran down her arm until he stopped and entwined his fingers with hers. May watched him, wondering what he was thinking. Seconds later, Sam slowly bent his head down before pressing his lips against May’s. As soon as his lips came into contact with hers, without hesitation, she kissed him back. She didn’t have to think about it. When Sam broke away from her, she kept her eyes closed, trying to take everything in. Sam still had hold of her hand, “I think you are beautiful. Those other girls have nothing compared to you”

May opened her eyes.

“May, I have a surprise for you. But you can’t ask any questions and you have to trust me”

May didn’t say anything as Sam held onto her hand tighter and took her away to a mysterious place. May wasn’t good at new, unfamiliar places but with Sam, she felt safe. She felt as though mothing could possibly go wrong. She would follow him to the ends of the earth.

****

Sam led May upstairs, grasping her hand until they got to his room. He turned to look at her as he swung the door open. Entering, Sam sat on his bed while May wondered around, memorising everything Sam owned. She soon joined him, sitting across from him on the bed, “So…?”

Sam tried to fight his nerves but they managed to creep through in his voice and May noticed, “So…”

Sam choked them back, “So, what do you think?”

May allowed herself to smile, “Your mother is lovely”

Sam lightly laughed, “She is. I wish she would’ve forgotten to mention you being the only girl I’ve ever invited over for dinner but apart from embarrassing me, she’s great”

“I seriously doubt that I’m the first female other than your mum to step foot in this room”

Sam started to shy away, nervously avoiding May’s graze, “No. She was being serious. I’ve never had a girlfriend…or female friend who was worthy to be introduced to my mum. She’s important to me and I didn’t want just ordinary people getting the privileged to know her”

May listened to Sam continue to explain himself until he stopped long enough for her to add, “Does that mean you find me worthy and important?”

“You are the only one important enough to me to be able to meet my mum.”

“I think it’s sweet that you care about your mum so much”

“I’m all she has…”

A heavy silence filled the empty space between them and Sam felt the need to rid the room of it, “Do you want a tour of the rest of the house before you have to leave?”

May politely nodded and followed Sam back downstairs.

After showing her the living room, the spinning chair in the office and the back veranda, Sam told her that he had one more place to show her. They came to the door, “Now, on the other side of this door is a special place. Somewhere I don’t even let my mum see. I wasn’t going to show you but I think I can trust you”

“Oh, you think do you?”

Sam scrunched up his nose, took a breath and opened the door. Inside the shed sat a wooden table caged in by unused furniture and boxes full of various things. Sam showed May the safest pathway over the boxes and through the dusty old furniture. They came to a stop and Sam climbed under the table. May stood still for a moment, puzzled. Sam gestured for her to join him underneath the old rundown table and she didn’t argue. When she was sitting, looking at Sam, that was when he began to explain, “This here, the place where we sit, is my secret hiding place. This is where I run away to when the world becomes unbearable”

“You hide under a table?”

“Look, I know how it sounds but yeah. It’s quiet and peaceful. This room has the right volume of silence. I know you think it’s stupid”

Sam buried his head in his hands out of defeat. May took his hands in hers and waited for him to lift his head before she spoke, “I don’t think it’s stupid. I think it’s good that you have a place like this”

May sweetly smiled at Sam who had spent so much time hiding the things he held close away from people because they never understood that he didn’t know how to react when he finally found someone who did. Sam wanted nothing more than to sweep May off her feet and give her everything she had ever wanted simply because she cared for Sam’s opinions, his thoughts and feelings, she cared for the person inside and Sam couldn’t help but love her for it. He had never expressed his feelings for May, not aloud, not really. He had always been afraid of that four letter word. He knew what he felt and he knew it had to be love but he never wanted to lose May. Sam wanted to hold on to that feeling and keep it forever, he only hoped that May still felt the same way.

Sam and May stayed under that table for hours, talking and sharing stories that they had never told to anyone before. It was getting closer to when May had to leave and neither one of them wanted her to go. May was getting ready to leave, about to get up from under the table when Sam pulled her back and whispered, “Stay”, and she did.