Sincerely Me

Chapter 10

Sam hurried to school as quickly as possible. He wanted to reach May before his friends did. He looked everywhere, searching the crowds for her face. He was about to throw the towel in when she popped out of nowhere. He raced over to her, “Hey. Come with me for a second”

He spun her around, dragging her in the opposite direction, away from the school, “Good morning to you too”

“So, something has happened. I’ve done something. Something bad. Very bad. And I don’t know how to fix it. It can’t really be fixed.”

“Are you alright? What happened?”

“I wanted to be the one to tell you. I didn’t want you to hear it from one of them”

“Sam, tell me what’s going on”

Sam took a step back and spun half way around, facing away from May. The sick feeling remained, leaving him shaky and terrified. He run his hand through his hair and letting them fall down his face. He spun back around to face May, terror in his eyes, “Eric and Jason were at my house last night and your letter was on my desk….” May knew where this was going, knowing that it didn’t end anywhere good, “…I didn’t know what to do”

“It’s fine. I understand. I can handle this. Don’t worry”

“But May…”

“Don’t okay, just leave me alone”

May tried to walk away and resume the day as she was planning to. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Sam walk over to his friends, something that she saw everyday. Then it started. May stood at her locker listening to Sam and his friends talk about her. She just let the anger burn deep in her chest until she couldn’t take it anymore. She slammed her locker door shut, causing many people to stare but she ignored them all, all except one. As May turned to look at Sam, she could feel her heart stop, rapidly try to jump out of her body.

May was always the girl in the corner, the quiet loner that no one knew. She never spoke out so that people wouldn’t notice her. That also meant that no one cared much for how she felt. She clenched her fists, took a deep breath in, trying to control her heart rate. She looked at Sam who was already looking at her.

There was a small crowd of people gathered around Sam, the popular group May figured. She forced herself to ignore the whispers and the chuckling that she knew was aimed at her. There were so many things running through her mind, so many things that she wanted to say, wanted them all to hear.

May was terrified that she would try to speak but nothing would come out, making her look even more like a fool. To her surprise, she opened her mouth and actual words were audible and they rolled off her tongue with ease, “Oh.My.God. Are you kidding? I am literally standing right here, listening to you all bitch about me…”

May’s eyes skimmed everyone in front of her. She didn’t know if she could go on, she was fully aware of the people staring at her, listening to every word she said.

“…Are your lives seriously that boring that you have to talk about someone as uninteresting as me behind my back? Are you freaking serious? What is the point of it? It doesn’t make you a cooler or better person; it just makes you seem desperate…”

May spoke with as much confidence she could find but lost it quickly, “You would know what being desperate is like, wouldn’t you loser?”

May fought back the tears as her face flushed with more anger and sadness. Not because of the comment but because Sam just stood there and let it happen. May tried to speak again, her voice trembling now, “Do you actually think before you speak? No, of course not. Instead you try and act smart and say stupid thing like that…” May continued to speak, trying her best to not let her tears flow down her cheeks, “…people like you are fake. You act the way everyone expects you to, because of the way you look. People think that everyone that has the perfect body and the perfect hair are supposed to be cruel and pick on the less fortunate. You think that I’m desperate due to the way I look. You all make snap judgements about me because I’m not stick thin and gorgeous. You fail to realise that there is nothing you could possibly say that I haven’t either been told before or thought about me…”

“No one cares”

“If no one cared then why are you all standing around listening? It’s because you don’t have anything better to do. The fact is that you would rather stand here and pick on the desperate loser than hang out with your friends because they aren’t your real friends, heck, you don’t even know them. No matter how you look or what you change on the outside, it won’t ever change the person you are. Anyone can be fat but not everyone can be a good person.”

May took a breath before looking at Sam. His expression hadn’t changed, he was standing in the same spot. Just as May was about to speak again, she was cut off by Sam’s voice, “Why don’t you just leave before you get even more appalling, some of us are sick of looking at you?”

May froze and stood in front of him, completely devastated. It didn’t take long before everyone started laughing and she couldn’t hold it in anymore. May pushed past everyone standing in her way, trying to block the sound of laughter from her ears. The tears were on the verge of breaking through. There was no escape for her; it was only recess which meant she has the rest of the day to be tormented by her fellow class members. All she could think was I should have stayed away from them, from all of them. I should never have left my corner and I wish that I never met him.

After everything that had happened, thoughts of Sam still twirled around her head like dancing butterflies. The words he spoke, the look in his eyes. May couldn’t help but regret everything that she had shared with him, regretting ever talking to him. Could the boy she fell for be the same one throwing harsh words at her with his friends? It was hard to believe that the boy on paper was so different from the one you saw in reality.