Monster Of A Mate [ON HOLD]

Κεφάλαιο δέκα

Taylor Hill as Era.

Just so guys don't get confused and ask who tf Era is, I changed Clarissa's name to Era.

    My sole focus was on a small figure that lay atop on my bed. Her wavy brown hair sprawled across my white pillow. Machines attached to her skin that I so badly want to rip out but it wouldn't do any good. I would only fasten the process of her dying. Her chapped lips slightly open, tempting me. She was so little compared to the king sized bed that she's on. Her complexion is so pale but she still looks like an angel. An angel that wasn't meant for me. It's been exactly a week since the incident happened and never once I stepped out of this room. Sitting on one of the couches that once was in the corner of my room but was now planted next to the bed that my mate lays upon. Gina had tried coming in here but I demanded her not to. I didn't want anyone to see my bloodshot eyes or my vulnerability. Never once in my life have I felt so tiny and vulnerable. Not even when I stood in front of my parent's caskets. All I wanted was for her to wake up. I want her to see how sorry I am. I want to show her how I want her. I want to explain why I was so cruel towards her. I want her to know how much I need her in my life. I want her to open her eyes and would maybe light up with just the sight of me. I want her to lay against my chest and listen to my heartbeat. I want her to wrap her arms around and comfort me. I want to hear her giggles as I would pepper her with kisses. I so goddamn want to hear her talk with that melodic voice. I want her to love me but that may never happen because of me losing my control.

    The room may be dark but she her presence lightens the whole room. I roughly rubbed my face then continued on watching her still form.

    Suddenly I felt my wolf pacing, "You bastard. I know you will fucking regret this." were the only thing he said after disappearing once again.

    I then started to focus my eyes on her, trying to memorize every single detail bout her. I watch how her chest slightly goes up and down and I try my very hardest on trying to capture every single feature. I can't believe that I have her as my mate but I just had to fucking lose my control. I just had to fucking distance myself away from her every time we see each other. I just had to ruin her. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I needed to punch something. Feeling my frustration building up once again, I threaded my fingers through her soft small ones. It somehow spread calmness through me making me release a content sigh. Tightening my hold on her, hoping that it'd wake her up but to no avail, she remained still with those fucking wires attached to her because of my doings. A heavy feeling once again resurfacing so I leaned my head towards our joints hands, seeking for comfort. I felt my eyes drooping down but I needed to watch her. Maybe it'd be the day where she would wake up and I need to see her just doing that. I need to witness her opening her eyes and to see her completely fine but the feeling of her cold soft hands and the feeling of the duvet cover made me succumb to my exhaustion.

~~~

    With my head resting on our joint hands, I suddenly felt a movement. A twitch of one her fingers. Realizing that she may be awakening right now, I opened my eyes quickly. I held my breath as I intensely watch her struggle to open her eyes. Tightening my grasp on her, hoping that this wasn't some kind of dream or illusion. In the back of my head, I knew that I did indeed need to call the doctor but I felt like words were stuck in the back of my throat, constricting me from saying anything; not even a gasp for air. Though I could use my mind-link, my brain too couldn't seem to function properly. All I could focus on was her. Staring at her heart-shaped pale face. I watched how her forehead seemed to crease, eyebrows meeting.

    Once her eyes opened fully, I follow how she takes in the unfamiliar surrounding. Slowly her gaze lays upon me and our joint hands with an emotion I couldn't describe. Disgust? Confusion? Narrowing her gray orbs at me, I carefully set her hand down and she withdrew it back as soon as I did so. Ignoring the hurt I felt, I stayed where I was, observing her. No words were exchanged but a tense silence lingering in the air, thick and heavy like a blanket. None of us daring to speak to one another. Era looked away from me.