Chapter Eight
For the next few weeks I was flying high.
Everything about me had already started to change. I was suddenly more talkative with every one; including people at school, teachers, Mum and I even said ‘hello’ to the postman on the way to school.
It was like I had come out of a shell. Because the barrier had been slightly lifted; that I had shared and exposed everything to those I trust, it was like I wasn’t alone anymore. I didn’t have to shut myself away in my own world because other’s did know about my world. I wasn’t carrying my own dreadful secret any longer and that made me feel lighter.
Mum noticed the transformation almost immediately. She blinked in surprise as I sat with Bella in the living room and chatted to her about a television series when usually I would go straight to my room and stay there. I would then sit at the kitchen table and ask her about her day and tell her about mine; something I never did before. Mum found it difficult to hide her astonishment and pleasure but she didn’t question it.
I had heard her discussing it with my father as soon as he returned from work in hallway when Bella and I were bonding and watching television.
“Rachel is talking again,” she whispered rather loudly to him.
“What do you mean? Are you serious?”
“Of course I’m serious Fred! She actually conversed with me and didn’t hide in her room! It’s like she’s been kidnapped and replaced with someone else! I’ve never seen anything like it…”
“Maybe she finally grew up into an adult and left the teenage years behind.”
“But it was rather sudden! And get this; she hasn’t had a nightmare in a week! Those come almost every day and I hear every one without fail, but this week I haven’t heard any!”
“Maybe you’re going deaf dear?” was my father’s reply and he got well-deserved slap on the arm for that.
But it was true. My nightmares had practically stopped altogether after the day I talked to Toby at the bench. This helped to add to my good mood; since now I could sleep through the whole nights without any trouble and I found that in the mornings I was increasingly awake and alert.
But no one’s reaction to my alteration in behaviour was more priceless than the one of Sylvia. Her eyes bulged and mouth revealed a perfect view of her tonsils; that first lunchtime on that Monday. Toby and I laughed and talked about the party on Friday and our discussion then focused on the guy-taking-the-beauty-course’s sexuality.
“You went to a party?” she spluttered. “You went drinking? How come I didn’t know about this party?”
Toby made an innocent, puppy face. “I told erm… Brian to invite you but I have a feeling he forgot, that jerk! I’m sorry about that!”
Fortunately Molly interrupted and asked more about the gay guy; just as Sylvia asked “Who the hell is Brian?”.
I also felt that dreaded shyness lift as I talked to more people about the school. They were shocked at first; but didn’t seem to mind these interactions.
Overall, I was a changed person. All it took was a bit of courage, but I managed it. And I actually felt quite proud of myself.
Toby hadn’t said anything about our previous conversations for this time. He hadn’t brought anything up about dating or anything of the sort. I only noticed that he always sat next to me at lunch and sprung up funny talks in the corridor. We hadn’t consorted at all out of school hours and soon I began to wonder if he had changed his mind.
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