Moving on Up

I'm Gone, I'll Transfer Out

Gone?

It was now mid-day and they'd done nothing but chase down a few garbage leads and grabbed an awful lunch.

They had grabbed lunch as a unit and it felt all sorts of wrong, because they weren't all together...this lame attempt at a 'family' lunch before Christmas was a joke.

Gone.

A piece of their family was gone, a very large piece was gone.

Adam was gone, she felt as if she was suffocating by the weight of his absence and the role she played in it.

Cabin fever was legit. He had always questioned wether or not it actually existed..he always thought it was some lame ass excuse to go out. Kim had always used the term, she was pretty big on family functions, and she'd throw that phrase at him.

'Come on, Adam! Let's go..it'll be fun..plus it'll get rid of my cabin fever..'

He groaned as he closed the case file, he had jumped at this opportunity but now he was beginning to get antsy.

He had serious cabin fever.

He had taken an undercover gig with the FBI, they'd been trying to infiltrate an illegal weapons ring, one that used the cover of rock festivals to move their product. They had serious military grade weapons and numerous explosive devices and armor piercing ammunition. It was shit that they feared would end up in the wrong hands, and every attempt at getting in had been shut down. They were now grasping at straws, they'd heard about the intelligence unit and it was their last hope.

The Feds needed a fresh face, one that was familiar with the numerous bands and festivals as a whole, Voight had thought of Adam instantly. The night he and Kim had gotten in to it he had been sent home, and he thought he was in deep shit.

Deep enough shit to lose his badge.

He was in deep shit...it just wasn't that deep. For that Adam was grateful, Voight had called him in a few days later. He reamed him out for the blow out and then switched gears quickly, offering the gig to Adam.

He jumped at it, it was two of his favorite things colliding, and it would remove him from Kim's world for a bit. He loved going undercover, and he loved music.

Though, he was starting to regret his decision, they were supposed to have moved out just the other day, but they had something come up and they had to sit tight.

He was done with sitting tight, he was ready to get to work. He had already immersed himself in his character...right down to the platinum blonde hair. He could hear his mother's voice in his head bitching over his latest hair color. It had been awhile since he had dyed his hair, he'd done it all the time while he was in high school and she always hated it...looking back on it now..that was probably why he had done it.

He would go out of his way to piss his mother off, he was a pain in the ass as a teenager and she caught the brunt of his anger. He was constantly pissed off, he was pissed at the world and he was pissed at his mother.

She was the reason his father left. At least that was how a fifteen year old Adam saw it, and because of that, Adam did whatever he could do to piss his mother off. He had done a bang up job of it, and he now felt like shit over it.

He felt like shit over a lot of things.

An idle mind was a very dangerous thing, and it led Adam to a lot of introspection..and he didn't like what he discovered about himself.

He had quickly reverted to the ways of his youth as his engagement to Kim progressed, and he still wasn't exactly sure as to why he did. Fuck, it had only been a week..he'd need a lot longer than a week to figure that out. It quickly spiraled when he first caught Roman sniffing around her and he lost it and became a jealous prick.

Roman left and slowly things between him and Kim had begun to thaw, they had moved into a comfortable space. They were civil, inching close to becoming friends again and then Antonio left.

Kim was promoted and Adam panicked.

He reacted horribly, he felt the anger come alive in his gut. He felt the hurt of it all over again...except it was amplified for some reason. He chalked it up to the close proximity and he threw the first punch.

That punch was Candice, he had been seeing her pretty casually for a few months. He had kept it pretty hush-hush, as she was just a means to an end. Someone to get his rocks off with every so often, she was well aware of that.

In fact, it had been her idea, and it worked.

Until, Kim was promoted upstairs.

He was filled with anger and love.

Love for her...that was precisely the problem.

He had never stopped loving her...he would always love her.

So he did what he did best, he lashed out in anger and wanted to hurt her as much as she had hurt him.

When Voight called him in to his office, he was confronted with his actions, it was precisely why he jumped at this opportunity.

"Sit down!" Voight slammed the door once Adam had stepped in his office, "That? What  happened downstairs...was a fucking embarrassment!" He was furious, "You're good fucking police kid..but you're a hot head!"

Adam shifted uncomfortably in the chair, "I don't...." he stammered, he didn't know what to say...there was nothing to stay.

Hank ran his hand over his face, "This unit will not work with both of you in it....I've got a few options...Burgess is done...."

Adam jumped up from his seat, "No! No fucking way...she's worked too hard!" He wouldn't be the reason she was kicked from the unit, "I'm gone...I'll transfer out...I'll walk the beat.." he pleaded, "Just don't cut Kim loose..."

Hank hadn't expected Adam's reaction but it had pleased him, "Alright...calm down.." Hank dropped into the chair behind his desk, "I've got another option..."

Adam could still hear the conversation in his head, and he was grateful that Voight kept Kim with the unit, he'd never would've forgiven himself if Kim was kicked back down to patrol.

He was relieved to be out of her orbit for the time being..he knew he need to get his shit together...and this was just the start of that.

He jumped up when he heard the knock on the door.

He checked the peephole before sliding the chain across and pulling the door open, "Yea?" He asked. The guy standing before him was his partner for the case, a baby faced cop from VICE.

"We move out tonight...it's finally been green lighted. Be ready." He told Adam before retreating to his room three doors down.

Adam closed the door and locked it, he turned the lights off and pulled the curtains closed. He pulled the covers down and slipped into bed, he hoped to sleep for just a few hours before heading out.

He knew sleep would bring visions of Kim, and he welcomed it. He hoped that once this was done...he'd finally be able to make it right with her.

He needed her...he just hoped she still needed him.