Falling inside

Chapter17

Merry Christmas if that's what you celebrate and if not then all well I was close. So I'm hiding from my family at the moment and I enjoy it beside I hate my family and I'm going to slap my little sister if she wakes me up one more time.

      The ship landed right in front of the temple and as I got out it made me regret not being able to feel a lot of emotions but that how I was born. We were back home and I wish that Holly could've been here too but she already took the test and passed because Mace loves her and hates me. I hated it and the fact that even though I stood up and got Darks out rights back some Jedi can't let stuff go.

     "Are you sure you want to do this because if you don't think that your ready we can go back," Jacob said as he climbed out of the ship. I nodded and looked at him and saw that tears were falling down his face.

     "Jacob I will be fine. You trained me good enough that I know that I can do this. I am ready but if you want to come in with me you can," I said. He smiled but stood back after pulling me into a hug.

     "For you to pass the test I have to stay out here so that you can prove that you do stuff without me. Good luck kid and I hope to see you pass before Luke makes that speech of his because if he does then we might never get all of our rights," he said as I walked in.

The darkness and amount of dead people around didn't bother me like it did Ezra but I'm used to being around people and not because most of them came back to life but because I killed people and I'm half spirit so death doesn't bother me like it should. I saw the tunnel and walked into the darkness of the place and started to hear voices.

Since I can't feel fear the test is different for me and that makes it harder because to pass the test I have to be in perfect neutral and even though I'm one of the most skilled Darks going in to perfect neutral is hard. When I go into that mode my mind has to become and stay blank in order for it to work and with me always having a song in my head it's even harder to keep it clear. The voices got louder and I saw the reflection of myself standing in front of me.

"Hello again Somnum It sure has been a long time since we last talked," my reflection said as I glared. She was using my birth name and I hated it. It meant Nightmare and the fact that I hated it was that it was the name the dark side gave me and it represented something evil so I felt like I had to change it and the only other name that I liked was Rebellion.

"Hello and you should know that I go by Rebellion now. I feel safer knowing that I have a name that meant something good for once," I spat. I hated these talks because I knew that they were going to take a long time but I couldn't do anything about that

        ******** (I did plan to type all of the conversion but I'm tired and it's late so I'm not going to.)

     I walked outside trying to shake the neutral out of my face and head as Jacob walked over. I finally passed and ranked higher than Yoda and Mace but what was told to me while I was in there is unforgettable and I know that the crystal I have can't be used unless I'm in battle and need to prove my rank to the Sith. My Padawan and Shadow braids were still in my hair from all those years ago and I didn't plan to take them out. I changed a lot and did stupid things but I will never let myself loose the proof that even though I was once evil I came back and was good again. I might never know what side to fight on and that's okay if I know what I'm fighting for and that will always be my freedom.

      "You ready to get back out there and sing?" Jacob asked as he landed the ship. I promised myself that I wouldn't let Holly be up there alone but she doesn't know that I'm singing with her yet and I can't wait for her to find out.

      "Yeah I am but even if I mess up or not what is all this going to do other than make us a target," I said. I couldn't help but think that way and even with everything going on I wasn't feeling like we was in the clear just yet.