I'll always be here

Chapter 12

Phil's POV
I try to stay positive. He is mine finally. We are perfectly happy. But, those words Greg said to me still rings in my head. He's right. I'm worthless. Dan deserves someone much better than me. I'm not special. I don't deserve almost four million friends.

(A/N I'm saying he calls them friends because he never calls us Phans he calls us 'you guys')

"Baby?" Dan asks.

"Yeah what sorry?" I ask.

"I think it's time we should look at the comments and stuff on my video," Dan says. Dang it I was hoping to completely ignore that. I nod and sit down my own Mac.

The first comment said He deserved it the faggot. The person who left it definitely liked Onision. Seeing as the name was literally OnIsIoN

"Phil stop. This person is an idiot. You do not deserve it," Dan says. I wipe my hand across my face making my hand wet of tears. "Okay?"

"Okay," I say. Some say have you watched Onision's video yet?

"Are you going to be okay watching his video?" Dan asks. I nod, knowing I am lying. He types in his name. The first video is titled "Dear Dan and Phil," we watch it through. One line rings through my head.

Phil you know what I meant. You just have a lot to live up to. But no I don't think you're amazing. You are no different than anyone else. There is nothing special about you. And I mean you're not to good looking or smart or anything in all honesty. I don't see how Dan can go all "heart eyes Howell" because of you.

I don't either... I know all these things why does he just have to say it out loud. Dan looks at me. I fake a smile. I lay my head on Dan's shoulder.

Julie runs in squealing. I smile and sit up. "What?" I ask. She sits down at the end of our bed. She holds out her arm in a *ohmygodlook* type way. A number is written on it.

"Ohhhhh!" I say. "Who's number?"

"Shane fluffing Dawson" she says.

"Fluffing?" I laugh.

"Shush!" She squeals. "I don't like swearing."

"Me neither but I don't say fluffing," I laugh. Dan laughs too.

"Shane Dawson gave me his phone number! Can we just talk about that?" Julie says.

"Haha okay, yes very nice." Dan says.

"Should I text him?" Julie asks.

"Yes," Dan says.

"I'm scared," Julie says.

"Give me the phone," I say. She does and shows me her number I text him this:

Julie: Hey Shane. It's Julie. That girl from VidCon today.

I hand Julie back her phone. She laughs. "Ugh I hate you Phillip Michael Lester."

"Oh full name?" I laugh.

"Yes full name!" She laughs.

"Shots fired" Dan laughs.

"Shut up Daniel James Howell!" Julie and I say in unison.

"Oh crap is getting real!" Dan laughs . He tackles the both of us at once. And starts tickling us.

"D-Dan! Stop!" I laugh. He kisses me and gets up. Julie sits up and pushes Dan off the bed. He just kind of lays there. We all start laughing. I hold my hand out to help Dan off the floor.

But he pulls me off to the floor with him. I laugh a little then pull into his chest. I smile into his chest. Then think about what Greg said.There is nothing special about you. Why is this so hard to listen to? Because I know it's true.

Why do people love me?

Not saying I don't love them too. Because I do. I love them more than anything. I just I'm nothing. I don't see how anyone can see anything in me.

I can't do this anymore.

"Phil. Baby are you okay?" Dan asks. Julie is texting someone, Shane.

"Yeah. I'm fine," I say and fake a smile.

"Philly. I know you are lying," he says.

"Daniel I am fine," I say getting up. I hold out my hand to help him up.

"Thanks," I say. I get out my phone and get on Twitter. So much hate. All these Onision fans. I can't just sit here and feel sorry about myself. I can't do this. I am going to feel happy, I am going out.

"Phil?"he asks. Now or Never.

"Hi, my name is Phil Lester and I have been diagnosed with bipolar depression. And I am completely in love with you,'' I say. I smile a little. And he wraps me in a hug.

"Philly, you are... You are perfect," Dan says. I smile into the hug. He kisses my forehead.

"I love you so so so much."

"Barf," Julie says.

"Get out. Just get out Julie," Dan laughs. I start laughing too. I am leigit laughing too. Not even faking. I don't remember doing that in a while. I am happy. I smile wider.

I don't really know why. I guess being here. In this moment I'm finally happy.

Then I hear a deafening noise...

A gun shot. I feel it. Then everything goes black.

A/N Hi. OMG 1K views!!! I love you all so much for reading this!!! And yes I know I am evil. Okay anyways. I write more stories I have another Phanfic and another story. So if you could read those that'd be amazing.But if you can't that's cool too. Love ya'