I've never quite been able to find a way to get this off my chest , but I finally think I've found a way how to , so here goes. * ps I am using a nickname for someone in this( two people actually) , it's nothing too crazy it's just the letter of her first name
I think at this point I can say I love you , many people will say that I'm only 16 years old and I don't know what love is, but I think I can tell that I'm in love by the way that you're in my mind constantly and by the way that when you talk to me or touch me I feel the butterflies in my stomach. But I hate the fact you don't know , I hate the fact that I have to pretend to feel awkward when you touch me or hug me and I have to tell you to get off, I hate the way that I have to deny the fact I do care about you so that my friends don't take the piss. I hate the fact that you make me so confused.
Whenever I think of you and the way you used to treat me , it seems so different. Like if I compare the way you treat me now,These days you can tell when I'm upset immediately , you always ask me what's wrong , you always defend me and you seem to try and find ways to talk to me. It's like when I look at the way in maths where I sit next to you and "L" sits the other side of me , you seem to treat her the way you used to treat me , you act like a complete asshole but in a funny way, you genuinely seem to care about me which is what makes me so confused because you're the same person who said to me the same day you broke up with "c" that you aren't gonna talk to anybody from our school when we leave in just 6 months and then face the real world. Maybe that's changed ? I have so many questions that I can't ask you because I'm scared that the truth will hurt me even more.
I've tried moving on , I've tried talking to other guys , but I still compare them to you , I still can't get the image out of my head of you're perfect fucking hair , and you're perfect fucking smile and you're perfect fucking personality that to others may not seem perfect but to me it does. You're just so fucking perfect , there's always part of me deep down that one day in the near future hopes that you'll see this , but then there's the bigger part of me hopes that you don't , because I don't know how you feel about me , you probably don't feel anything at all , I just needed to get this off my chest.
