Yūgen

Something Old - Reprise

 "Ay, hala, ateng," exclaimed Barbie, Maine's best friend-cum-business partner, "ba't mukha ka na namang nakipag-warlalu sa labas?"

Maine reached into one of her pockets for me. I was in contact with her sweaty forehead again just seconds later. Good Lord, she'll have to throw me into the washing machine again after this.

"Ayun, mars," she tried to explain in between breaths, "inabot na naman ako ng...monthly maintenance ng elevator. Alam mo naman tayo...'di naman...tayo ng suki ng...ng Planet Fitness sa kabilang building..."

Maine still mustered enough energy to reach her desk, then slump into her seat. She kept huffing and puffing away, but I could tell she was going to be all right.

"Ikaw naman kasi, p'wede namang magbagal nang konti pag-akyat ng stairs, dabah? 'Tsaka...kung ba't ba naman sa 4th floor ang kinuha mong office space..." Barbie was borderline complaining already.

"Barbara," Maine exasperatingly shot back as she gave her friend the stink-eye.

"Sabi ko nga. Eto naman, o, 'di mabiro. Alam mo, kuha na lang kita ng tubig, ateng. Ano pa? May ensaymada pa akong extra sa pantry..."

"Tubig na lang, Barbs. Please."

"Okaaaaaay..."

As Barbie walked off, Maine started training her eyes across her desk. She spotted another bouquet of flowers—probably the third one she got this week. She picked up the bouquet, read the dedication and rolled her eyes to the high heavens.

Maine,

I think there must be a reason why things are unfolding in our lives the way

they did...a reason we bumped into each other again after such a long time.

I hope you're thinking the same way, too.

D.

Barbie walked in, Maine's favourite glass in hand, "Ateeeeng, here's your wa..."

Maine looked at Barbie sternly, quickly pointing to the bouquet with her lips.

"Ay, naku, Maine, 'yang si pareng Darren mo, hindi ko mapigilan," Barbie explained, referring to the guy who sent flowers.

"Tigas din ng ulo niya, ano? I already told him, 'di pa ako ready."

"Weh? Kahit matagal ka nang divorced kay Papa Richard?"

"Yup."

Barbie sighed, but it was cue to take the flowers away from Maine's desk and right to the garbage bin in the pantry.

Maine shook her head and smirked as she turned her laptop on and slowly immersed herself into the work day.

***

She seemed to have the easier end of things when she left Richard and eventually filed for divorce. But I saw how she struggled to keep herself awake during those early mornings she had to do a conference call with Richard and their lawyer. After all, they were in opposite time-zones.

Maine would go on with the rest of her day often bleary-eyed, sometimes even disoriented. But she felt she had to endure it. The homecoming, the divorce...they both thought those would be for the better. And they had to stand by their decisions—at least, she thought. It seemed like she eventually decided to stock up on coffee and energy drinks to keep herself alert during that entire time she and Richard were working on their divorce. Or, so I saw. I think she needed those, if only to prevent her from missing important details or making decisions she wouldn't be completely aware of.

And then, the divorce became final.

Maine finally decided after that to go neck-deep into putting up the first branch of her bakeshop. Which meant even more sleepless nights. And more coffee. And maybe a few tears along the way. Yes, there were some days that I became her companion—during those moments her finances were running a little bit short, or there was a missed delivery, or dates and deadlines got pushed back further and further.

And just like when she was still with Richard, and they had difficulty conceiving, I was the lone witness to those tears she shed.

I was pleasantly surprised, though, when I overheard her talking to Richard one day. Unlike those final days before she left him and flew back to Manila, I didn't hear any confrontation. No blame games. But at the same time, I don't think I ever heard Maine mention any of her difficulties back then to him. Even as friends, perhaps, she still didn't want him to see her crying.

But when the first branch of her bakeshop finally opened, emotions were overflowing. That became her "baby," after all—an outlet of sorts after getting through the divorce proceedings with Richard. She poured out her soul, and her love for baking in bringing one of her biggest dreams to life. It was another proud moment for her, and for Barbie too, who joined her in taking the plunge and stuck with her along the way.

Maine couldn't hide the tears anymore.

"Kung nakasama ko rito sa Pilipinas si Richard, mars, he'd love to see this," she whispered to Barbie as she looked at the bakeshop's sign being unveiled. She remembered that he knew, deep within his heart, that she still wanted to fulfill her dream of owning a business.

Barbie clung to her best friend's arm and leaned on her shoulder to comfort her.

"Ateng, binabalitaan mo naman si ex-hubby mo from time-to-time, 'di ba? I'm sure, tuwang-tuwa 'yun," she replied. They clung to each other tighter as the rest of the bakeshop's inauguration went on. And I'd be out there now and then, clinging to Maine's soft hands, as I performed my responsibility to her.

***

"Alam mo, dalawang bagay lang 'yan kung ba't napatawag ka this early," Richard went on the other end of the line, "it's either may tsismis ka, or may isusumbong ka."

"Grabe ka naman sa 'kin," Maine shot back, "'di ba p'wedeng nangangamusta lang? Char!"

Richard chuckled. "So which one is it?"

"Sige na nga, may...isusumbong."

"Ay, anak ng tinola. Sino na naman?"

"Kasi, ano...si Darren. You remember him, right?"

"Teka. Darren...Darren...ahh, 'yung isa pang nanliligaw sa 'yo noong high school tayo? Why, what about him?"

"Ayun, nagpaparamdam na naman. Ilang beses nang nagpapadala ng bulaklak sa office, pangatlo na 'yung kanina. Pinagsabihan ko na nga si Barbie na 'wag nang tanggapin, pero, ayun."

"Ay, 'sus. 'Yun lang ba?"

"Yeah. Ang babaw, 'no? Kung sa bagay, siya rin, hiwalay na sa wife niya..."

"O, 'yun naman pala, eh! Ano naman ang problema do'n? E single ka na rin naman."

"Ewan ko, Chard. I mean, I know it's been a few years since our divorce. But I still feel na I'm not ready for another relationship. Well, at least, not yet anyway. I'm still trying to find out for myself kung bakit, pero..."

Both of them went silent as Maine trailed off with her sentence. A few seconds after that, all she could do was sigh.

"Sige na, sige na," Richard said to break the ice, "mag-trabaho ka na lang muna. Titigil din 'yang mokong na 'yan."

Maine chuckled, "Meh. Sana nga."

I saw her put her phone down on her desk and smile. It seemed to be always like this each time she talked to Richard lately. Yet, I didn't want to think of it—yet—as a sign that things could still change for the better.

But maybe, just maybe, there's still a chance.