Ethan's POV
I can't stop the tears and sobs escaping me while I lay on the hospital floor with my family trying to calm me down as well as the nurses. "Ethan she's in a better place now, she isn't in pain anymore" Cameron said as she hugged me tightly. "I-I can't live without her.... it it hurts" I cry causing people walking past to stare. I don't care, I just lost the love of my life. I listened as she cooked out her last words, I watched as she looked at me for the last time, held her hand in mine as she took her last breath.
I've been sitting on the hospital floor for hours now, I can't move, the pain is too much. I looked over to see Grayson walk in and slide his body down next to mine. We didn't say anything we just sat there. I was suddenly pulled into his chest "I'm sorry Ethan. I'm sorry this happened. I'm sorry for everything. I should have been there for you through it all. I should have been a better brother. I'm sorry." I stayed silent as I leaned against him allowing the tears to fall onto his shirt. "I love you bro" I heard him mumble causing me to sigh and wrap my arms around him to hug him.
"Ethan, we should be getting home now" my mother said as she waited at the door with my dad. "I-I can't leave. She's going to be wheeled back through that door breathing. I know she will. Any minute." I heard my mum sigh as she walked over to me. "Ethan, honey. You saw her, you saw the heart monitor, the doctors and nurses. You saw them zip up the body bag. Honey I'm sorry but she's not coming back. You need to go home and rest." My body already ached because of the emotional pain but each word my mother said my chest ached even more and my heart thumped against my rib cage.
"You guys can go I'll stay with him" I heard Grayson's voice from beside. "Thank you Grayson" my mother said as she came over to hug us both before leaving with my dad and Cameron. "You don't have to stay" I mumbled as I wiped my sleeve along my tear stained face. "You're my brother, I'm not leaving you". We sat in silence, the nurses tried to get me to leave but one male nurse said he's been through something similar and is allowing us to stay.
"Ethan, I know you're hurting, I know you are mourning, I know. But Ethan you need to go home and rest" I shook my head as Grayson sighed. "Look Ethan, its been two days and you still haven't eaten or slept. Ashtyn's....... funeral is in three days. Maybe we should take you home, rest then we can go and get new suits tomorrow." 'Ashtyn's funeral' my heart just broke for the hundredth time, I can't even leave her old hospital room how am I supposed to attend her funeral without having a complete breakdown?
I tried to get up but my legs gave way, I'm too week. She was my rock, my happiness, my one and only now I have nothing. I don't know what to do I can't even move without her. "Shit" Grayson muttered as he wrapped my arm around his shoulder and held on to me as he walked me to our car.
He helped me up to my room where I'm now laying staring at the ceiling. "I miss you" I whisper as I let my eyes drift shut.
"Ethan?" I woke up to my mum with a worried look on her face. "Yeah?" she looked around my room before speaking again. "Lets get you downstairs, I think you should eat." I sighed before standing up on my wobbly legs. "I'll meet you down there" she said shutting the door beside her.
I turned to look out the window when my heart skipped a beat and my body started to ache again. My eyes connected with my wall opposite my bed. Photos of Ashtyn and I are the only thing visible on it. It feels like I've been shot in the chest ten times, I walked over and stared at the photos.
"FUCK!" I yelled "FUCK EVERYTHING" before I knew it there were multiple holes punched in my wall, my clothes were everywhere along with he rest of my belonging, ornaments were smashed as well as my mirror. The only thing left intact is the wall of photos. "Ethan?" I turned around with tears streaming down my face as my knuckle bled and my chest rising up and down. "Ohh Ethan" my mum engulfed me in a tight hug before guiding me downstairs to the dinner table.
"So, Ashtyn's parents are coming over for dinner tomorrow night. We are helping plan the funeral and Ethan I want you to help as well." I looked over at my dad who was looking at me, I saw his eyes flicker to the dried blood on my knuckles which I quickly moved under the table to avoid his gaze on them. "I-I can't" I mumbled "Ethan-" "Sean please" my mum cut him off obviously because of what she just saw upstairs. "I'm sorry, you can if you want but please don't avoid the situation, it doesn't help." I wanted to yell and scream at my dad but I moved myself to the backyard where I dipped my feet in the pool.
"The stars are beautiful" I turned my head to see Cam sitting down beside me. "Y-yeah, Ash and I used to lay down and look at the stars." Cameron sighed as she rested her head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry Ethan."
