C H A N G E

{8}

{8}

Knock, Knock.

Waiting patiently outside the front door of Matt and Penny's house I can hear the sound of kids' feet running around. I'm unsure whether I should be excited to see my niece and two nephews or scared. I can hear Penny yelling from inside as well, none of them probably know I'm standing right outside the door. I knock again this time much louder hurting my knuckles.

"Oh Hey, Sis sorry we are just a tad unorganised so thank you for coming early." Matt swings the door open looking exhausted.
"Fucking Hell Matt! I told you they couldn't have all that candy." Penny yells chasing after one of the twins.
"Do you need some help Penny?" I shout out.
"Oh shit. I'm so sorry Riley. I didn't know you were here." She stops running for a second.
"It's fine. Just get ready I'll take care of the kids." I say going up stares.
"Okay thank you. Ivy is in the lounge playing, Louis is running around like a lunatic and Tyler is asleep upstairs." I nod taking in the information. Ivy and Louis the twins are now two and a half, not only do they have double trouble, six months ago Penny gave birth to the handsomest little baby whom they named Tyler. Don't tell the twins but I prefer Tyler more because he can't walk or talk yet making my job so much easier.

"Louis! Aunty Riley is here!" I yell out to him, wherever he is. I stand there for a minute preparing myself for the craziness that is about to emerge.
"Aunty Riley!" He squeals before running up and hugging my legs.
"Oh I missed you so much. But why don't you be a good boy and stop running around. That would making Mommy and Daddy so happy." I say bending down to his level.
"Okay but can we watch TV when they leave." I nod and he runs to the lounge room excitedly. I have a feeling this will be a long night.

"Okay Riley we are leaving now, make sure the twins are in bed by 8 and you know what to do if Tyler wakes up. Thank you so much take care of my babies." Penny rushes digging around her purse.
"Bye mommy, bye dada." Ivy and Louis say in unison standing just in front of me.
"Bye babies." Penny blows them both kisses then walks out the front door to see Matt who has pulled out the car.
"Have good night see you in the morning." I say before shutting the door.
"Party time!" Louis yells, now let me tell you louis is the more outgoing one out of the twins, Ivy will prefer to just play quietly in the corner where as louis can't do anything without making a racket.
"Louis inside voices! Tyler is sleeping." I shush him, I can't actually believe he still sleeping usually by now he would be crying and screaming with all this noise. I think I should probably check if he is still alive and breathing.
"Okay why don't you two watch some TV while I check on Tyler?" I say turning on the TV.
"Yay! Cartoons!" Louis yells excitedly jumping on the couch.
"Louis stop jumping just watch quietly, I'll be back in a minute." I whisper.

I tiptoe towards the door labelled "Tyler" in a cute little sign, I push the door open as quiet as I can. I rush over to him quietly. His little chest is rising up and down slowly and I sigh in relief. I stand there, admiring his cute face. As I admire him it starts to make me think what could have been. It was only several months ago that I was supposed to have my own little baby. Tears start to well up in my eyes as thoughts start to rush into my head.

'Why did I have to lose her?'
'How can Penny have three perfectly healthy babies when I can't even have one?'
'Where did I go wrong?'

Breathe Riley! Riley you just have to fucking breathe its okay!
Inhale, Exhale.

"Why are you sad?" I turn around to see Ivy standing in the doorway.
"I'm okay Ivy." I say finally feeling as though I can breathe.
"Do you need a hug?" She asks her voice as sweet as sugar, I nod caving into the cuteness. I bend down to the ground and she wraps her little arms around me.
"What are you doing Ivy?!" Louis storms in, setting off the bomb that is Tyler James Jenner. I take a deep breathe restraining myself from yelling at them with frustration.
"Guys you can't be loud around Tyler. You both need to your room and play quietly." I say keeping calm, they don't say a word and walk out. I scoop Tyler up in my arms and start rocking him side to side while I sing twinkle twinkle little star in hope it will shut him up. .
"Come on Tyler. Just be quiet. You don't even have to sleep. Just please shut up." I whisper to him. I decide to change my technique.
"Ah Peek-a-boo! Oh where did I go? Peek-a-boo!" As I keep doing this he starts to cheer up.
"Oh who's a happy little boy?" I rock back and forth in the rocking chair and soon enough his giggles turn into snores. I smile, proud of my achievement even though in the back of my mind all I'm thinking about it Lily. His little mouth opens and shuts with every snore and it is the most adorable thing I have ever witnessed in my life.

Then the sound I have decided I officially hate woke him up, the generic IPhone ringtone. I begrudgingly answer it seeing as it is Mason calling.
"What do you want?" I ask, slightly more angry then I should as Tyler's crying gets louder.
"Its an Emergency you need to come to the address I text" He rushes, the panic in his voice highly evident.
"What's going on?" I ask, trying to block out Tyler's crying.
"Just come. I have to go, see you soon." I can her crying in the background and lots of muffled voice.
"Okay I'll try get there as fast as I can."

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Wow, two updates in one week. Its a miracle. I hoped you like it. I would love it if any of you guys gave me some feedback and thoughts so far. Anyway I hope you have a wonderful day :) 

- Ruby xox