Recap on what's just happened:
I went on my first fairground ride. It was boring, slow and really quite cramped. But at no point did my life seem like it would be in any imminent danger. So I guess that's a win.
I found out about the joys of kissing. It's messy, unattractive and from what I can gather, something you do to impress your peers. Not really sure who the couple in the tunnel were trying to impress, but they were really going at it quite viciously.
Best of all though is that I got my very own photo. I mean, sure, it's not the most grand of images. It's got myself and a ginger maniac pulling butt-ugly expressions whilst displaying some grotesque hand gestures. And we only thought to get one copy made. But it's mine. And that's all that matters.
Can life get much better?
A giant bag of fluff catches my eye as we're walking back to find Danny and Glen. And by 'bag of fluff', I mean pink, sparkly, unicorn stuffed toy. It's stomach twistingly pathetic, designed for young children that have nothing more in their life than fuzzy dreams about being a princess and living in a castle with mountains of sweets and magical unicorns flying around their heads all day. I mean, come on. Who in their right mind would want such a money-wasting sack of fluff?
Me.
I feel myself being drawn towards the bundle of adorableness, mesmerised by the allure of it's soft looking face. I've never owned a teddy bear in my life. I was never one for cuddles and all that girlie stuff you do when you're a child. It's always been something that has made me cringe inwardly when thinking of it. But today, I want nothing more than to feel the squishy bundle of fluff in my arms...
“You want a go at this game?”
I manage to rip myself from the wonder to look at Mark. I don't have to answer, it would seem. He's already paying the man at the stall. Apparently, all I have to do is grab a hook and pick up a duck. And depending on the number on the duck's arse, then I win a prize. Simple, right?
Well. Not so much. I don't get the teddy that I want. Instead, I have to choose between an ugly looking cactus thing and a weird snake. I opt for the snake, seeing as I have no idea what that cactus is meant to be. I can't deny that I'm a little more than disappointed.
“You want another go?” I hear Mark ask. But I don't have the heart. I shake my head and carry on walking, trying to forget the ray of sunshine that could have been in my life.
We eventually manage to find Danny and Glen in the picnic area, stuffing their faces with hotdogs. They grin at us as we approach them, handing over the food that they've clearly bought for us.
“Where have you two been then?” Danny mumbles through a full mouth. As funny as I usually find it, the grief I feel just makes me feel a bit queasy.
“I got Alex to go on a ride.”
“Oh? Which one?”
“It doesn't matter.” I look at him curiously. Why has he suddenly gone all weird?
“Course it does!”
“No, really, it doesn't.”
“Stop being a pussy, Mark! The way you're pissing about, it's like you took her on that Tunnel of Love thing...” Danny's voice trails off as Mark's face flushes. “Dude...are you serious? What were you thinking?”
Wait, what?
“Nothing happened, Dan...”
“Are you sure? I mean...come on...”
