The Breakup Girl

Chapter Fifteen

On Friday Todd was absent again. I was just relieved that I wouldn't have to face the awkwardness of my ex-boyfriend, but I knew that it wouldn't last. He would be at school on Monday, and I would have to suck it up and be mature about it.

After school was over, I drove home and didn't plan on going out. None of my family was home, so I grabbed a snack from the cabinet and watched TV. My phone vibrated and I looked at it quickly.

Todd: are you home?

I laughed to myself, because he had to be kidding. What was wrong with him? Why was he crawling back to me? I threw my phone on the table and didn't answer. I didn't want anything to do with him. I was thinking this over when there was a knock on the front door.

I sighed and got up from the couch. I opened the door and there he was. Todd. My face flushed with different expressions: first surprise, then anger, then frustration.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

"What the hell? What do you want?" I sighed.

"Can I come in?"

I moved out of the way, annoyed, so he could come in. He sat on the couch next to me.

"I've been thinking it over a lot, and I'm sorry, Paige," he confessed. "Really."

"You apologized before." I reminded him curtly.

"I know, but I miss you. Are you sure this is what you want?"

I thought about it for a second.

"No, you're right. This isn't what I want," I admitted, his eyes lighting up. "I don't want to take a break, because I just want to end all of it."

It was silent. His face looked pained and expressionless, like he'd taken a blown to his chest. I tried to be confident, but I couldn't hide the guilt that was eating me up. There was so much that had to be said and I couldn't stop. I had to keep going.

"I loved you, Todd. You were the first person I ever loved. You were my first for everything, really. It was so nice, even though it only lasted about three months. It was fun and I was comfortable around you," I started, "But I feel like I did everything I could to keep you around. I didn't want to ruin anything. Believe me, I know you cared about me and meant the best, but I did everything to make you happy. I'm done being your pawn."

He didn't say anything, because there wasn't anything to be said. I walked across the room and grabbed the little box sitting on the side table. I handed it back to him, and he didn't look at me. Todd opened the box and pulled out the necklace he bought me for Christmas. I had pretty much ended my first relationship, but I wasn't the one to ruin it. That was all on him.

"I don't want this to come between us." he suddenly said.

"Agreed." I nodded my head.

"So...can we just be civil?"

I nodded again, and said, "Of course."

"I...I guess I should go now," Todd sighed and put the box in his pocket.

He stood up and I walked him to the door. He waved, and I smiled, but it wasn't awkward. I think I knew all along that he was a hit and miss, though I can't thank Todd enough for being there for me all along. He helped me feel better in my time of need. I don't know where I would have been without Todd being there to fix my broken heart. As I watched him walk to his car, I silently said goodbye in my head. He wasn't the one, but he would always be the first.