The Hopeful, The Hardheaded and the Homework

Chapter 37 : Why Can't I Leave it Unsaid? : Enoch

Well we're on the tail end!! I don't exactly know how many more chapters but 40 is a good round number. That's by no means a fixed amount,  but it's the tail end!
You guys have been absolutely incredible. I just wanted to say that again!

xxxXxxx

"Because I fink I love you, alright?"

The moment the words left his lips Enoch closed his eyes and wished they hadn't. They were words he couldn't remember ever saying in his life, and didn't really think he would. They felt weird and awkward and the already tense atmosphere became much worse for him in a matter of seconds.

He had meant what he said about owing Olive some sort of explanation for his behaviour, and about being scared because for once, Enoch was terrified and didn't want to accept it, so he didn't.

He shouldn't have brought her over.

"You...you what?" Olive's voice was little more than a whisper that he wouldn't have heard at all had she been any quieter. He still didn't turn around. It was embarrassing enough without her having to see how one of his hands was shaking in front of him and he probably looked like he'd seen a ghost.

For all the cold, rough exterior, he was a lot more nervous than he cared to show.

"Maybe." Enoch muttered, "I don't know exactly. I dunno 'ow ta tell, but I was 'urtin' you and I was too wrapped up in bein' bloody scared of it to notice. So there. Now you know."

"...The reason but not the problem, huh?" He could practically hear her smile in her voice but still, Enoch didn't look around. "But why on earth couldn't you tell me that? Enoch, did you really think I would mind?"

"Because I didn' know what I thought. It ain't somefin' I'm that used to. I kinda figured I should figure it out first an' not lead you on. Someone told me that was mean. Sod them but they weren't wrong. Guess I pushed ya away instead."

He glanced over his shoulder but didn't look even for long enough to really see her face without averting his eyes. There was something. Of that much he was sure, whether it was love or not was another matter because he didn't know how to classify that. No sooner had he turned his head back to stare down at the counter top did he hear a chair scrape back and Olive get to her feet.

"Enoch..."

"Wh-" Before he could move, or even turn, Olive's arms slipped around his waist and he tensed just slightly at the hug. He was growing used to the tingling sensation inside his chest whenever she touched him and save for a stolen and thoroughly rushed kiss in the corridor, he'd all but avoided all contact for days. She didn't say anything at first, and he tilted his head to peer over his shoulder as he felt her chin against it. "Olive?"

She let him go and Enoch finally sighed and turned around on the spot. Olive was smiling, and looking happier again than she had in days of his ignoring her. He did feel guilty for that, it had taken her to actually say she thought he was changing his mind to kick himself into a better gear.

"If you think for a moment that I wouldn't want to hear that then you couldn't be more wrong."

"Even when I acted like that? Bloomin' selfish. I took it for granted that yeh'd still be there, 'owever long I took ta figure it out."

"It might have been selfish..." Olive laughed and Enoch for a moment stared at her like she was mad. Might have been? Even he didn't need three people to point it out, he knew damn well he was selfish but before he could open his mouth to argue, Olive had continued. "But did you at least figure it out?"

"Maybe. I just got so used to 'avin' you around lately, I never realised..." Enoch stopped himself and looked away. It wasn't easy for him to talk like this. He never had spoken like that to anyone at all, it felt awkward and forced and was the furthest thing from natural to him but now the floodgates were cracking open it was like he couldn't quite stop it. She deserved it.