Room 206 - Luke Hemmings

forty-three

I called him so many times.

From the time the party ended and everyone went home and Eleanor was still with me in my room while my parents tried to clean up a little more, basically all night (except the 3 hours of sleep I'd managed to get after Eleanor left and I laid staring at my ceiling until I drifted off) and in the morning when I woke. 

I left him countless voicemails, begging for him to let me explain and trying to tell him that it wasn't what it looked like. I didn't talk to Alex. I didn't need to talk to him; I told him my piece and I didn't owe him any other explanation other than that. 

Feeling heartbroken was an understatement. 

Eleanor came over and tried to cheer me up, but her effort was a bit wasted.

"Daisy, if Luke doesn't realize that he's the one making a mistake here then he's an idiot," she said. "If he doesn't get that Alex is dead to you then he needs to screw his head on straight first anyways! You deserve so much better than that, Daisy. He hasn't even given you a chance to explain yourself or anything and you at least deserve that."

I could have tried to explain it to her, but she wouldn't understand. She didn't sit and listen to him relive the pain of a girl he loved throwing his feelings in the garbage in exchange for some stupid bet in college. She didn't experience him opening up to her and becoming so vulnerable, knowing just what he was the most insecure about. I knew all these and I betrayed him.

Eleanor left, leaving me to my own devices. After another few calls that were missed, I decided to go outside into my mom's garden. I'd been locked inside too much and hoped that getting some fresh air would clear my mind. 

I sat down on the bench, staring at the same roses I'd been looking at the night before, unchanged but brighter looking in the sunlight of the day. I reached out and touched a petal with my fingers, feeling the smooth velvet-like texture and frowning as I remembered the night Luke had laid rose petals out over his desk in a crude romantic gesture. It seemed ridiculous now looking back on it, but I'd do almost anything to go back to that night. 

I looked away from the roses and noticed the daisies from the night before that Luke had left when he'd dropped them and stormed off. My heart twisted as I walked over to them and almost laughed as I realized he'd probably chosen daisies because of my name. I sat down on the ground next to them and picked them up, then noticed a small envelope sitting on the ground underneath them that I hadn't noticed the night before.

Knowing that opening it and seeing what was inside would make things worse for me, I did it anyways. There was no way that whatever was waiting for me inside this envelope was a bad thing, especially knowing that Luke was so positive about our future before I'd left the school and the fact that there was a bouquet of flowers that was waiting for me with it. 

I pulled out a long handwritten paper, immediately recognizing Luke's slightly messy handwriting. I sighed, taking a second to prepare myself. I put the letter back into the envelope and picked up the bouquet of slightly wilted daisies. 

I went inside, finding a vase and placing the flowers in it, adding a pinch of sugar to the water. I carried it with me into my room, setting it on the table next to my bed, above the same drawer I'd kept my one picture of Luke hidden. I sat on my bed, taking a deep breath and opening the envelope again, finally unfolding the letter and reading it.

My beautiful Daisy,

I have to say, I never thought that the first time you mouthed off to me in class that we'd end up where we are now. I figured at the most we would probably hook up a few times, but nothing would ever come out of it. My mind was still poisoned with the pain Arzaylea had put me through as well, which only added to the lack of knowledge I had about just how special you really are. 

I never thought I'd be able to love anyone again. I thought that after something so horrible had happened to me, I could never open up to another person and let them have so much control over my feelings, and yet here you are. I love you infinitely more than I ever did her. I knew I was in love with you for a long time before. I wanted to wait until graduation had come and passed and there was nothing that could raise suspicion before I made things "official" between us. I guess you could say I was paranoid, but I didn't want either of us getting into trouble, especially since you just were accepted into the college you've been dying to get into for years. 

I know I led you on many times, and I know that I've apologized before but I want to again. I want to tell you I'm sorry for all the times you cried because you thought I didn't want you, all the times you hurt, and all the times Eleanor had to tell you that you're worth much more than I made you feel before. I know you've forgiven me, but I want to be able to make that up to you. I want to be able to prove to you just how special you are, just how deserving you are of someone who loves and cares about you. Not the pieces of shit you've dated in the past (for lack of a better word). 

I never told you how I loved the way your lips looked when you'd pout in class, or the way your long red hair always laid a beautiful mess around your shoulders. You make it look so good and so inviting, how you could look so human but so godly at the same time. I love the way your grey eyes are always so dark in comparison to your porcelain skin, and the way your hands fit around my fingers and in my hair. The amount of beauty you hold is indescribable. Everyone wants you; you're smart, witty, and never afraid to speak your mind. And on top of it all you're incredibly captivating, and have a heart of pure gold. Somehow I was lucky enough to end up with you. 

I don't want to mess around with this anymore. You are the one I want. There never was anyone else and there never will be. I can't imagine a life where I hadn't met you and realized what really was waiting for me in the future. Your laugh makes the sun come out on a cloudy day and your smile could make flowers grow; perhaps that's why your parents named you Daisy. I am so in love with you. Maybe the rest of the world thinks it's wrong because I was your teacher, but as far as I am concerned, the universe put you in my class so we could be together. I wouldn't change it for the entire world.

I know this will be hard because you will be away in college and I will be teaching once again, but I want to make this work. I can send you letters, call you every night, and see each other on holidays. I will put in the effort for you. Just as long as I can be with you in the long run, that's all I want. 

-Luke.

I held the letter to my chest, tears pouring down my cheeks. I'd really done it this time.

I lost him.

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A/N: uneventful chapter I know, I will update again tomorrow though worry not

thanks again for all the reads, comments and votes. <3 x