Room 206 - Luke Hemmings

twenty-six

The weekend ending was bittersweet for me. It was too short because I had to go back to face Hemmings again, which I wasn't ready to do. But it was too long because all weekend I spent crying while the girls weren't looking and faking smiles and pretending to have fun when they were. I think Eleanor saw right through me but fortunately she didn't push the issue.

I didn't say a word or even look at Hemmings at all when I entered his classroom. I walked to my usual spot in the room and sat down, pulling out my notes and reading over them even though it was clearly never necessary for me. I waited for the tardy bell to ring before I even looked up from them at all, and when I did it was only to check what he had planned for today, which was written on the board. I looked up from my notes only once all period, and when I did I locked eyes with Hemmings. I looked away as quickly as I could so I couldn't see a single emotion in his and he couldn't see any in mine. I wanted this to end as quickly and painlessly as I possibly could considering it already hurt to sit and listen to his voice, knowing what it sounded like, soft and low in my ear things that no one else heard him say.

Or was I even the only one? What if he did this with other students? No, it couldn't be. He wouldn't keep pushing me away like that if he were with others. I knew I made myself irresistible to him and if he weren't hesitant about it due to the circumstances then maybe we would've had a chance. But I tried mine, and they definitely weren't what I was hoping for.

When class was dismissed, I left quickly and said nothing, didn't look at Hemmings or even wait for him to call me back in. I wouldn't ever expect him to but even if he did I wouldn't turn back. It was easier this way and it would hurt me less in the long run.

"Daisy," I heard Eleanor call my name from behind me as I made a bee-line out of the classroom. I stopped outside the door and waited for her, and she caught up to me quickly and walked next to me.

"Hey," she gave me a small smile and put her arm around my shoulder. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," I smiled back at her.

"Are you sure? You've just been so quiet lately," she said, frowning. "Daisy, you know you can tell me anything."

"I'm okay, I promise," I said. "I'm just tired and stressed out. It's that time of year you know."

Eleanor didn't look convinced at all. "Daisy, I'm a little worried about you."

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine." I wasn't sure I was ready to tell Eleanor just yet so I decided that lying was easier.

"Well okay," she said. I was grateful that she wasn't going to push the issue. "I'm going to the library to work on my homework, are you going to join me?"

"Of course," I smiled for my best friend even though it hurt. I didn't want to weigh her down with my misfortunes and I certainly was not ready to admit to the sins I'd committed.

Maybe I just need to go to church more often, Jesus Christ. I wouldn't be in this mess if I were a good Christian.

-

This process repeated itself for a couple weeks. I kept my mouth shut in English and avoided any kind of conversation, eye contact or anything in class. During our tutoring sessions, I kept my mouth shut and did my work. I breezed through it all, now that I was able to focus and do it. It sucked sitting next to him while I worked, being able to smell his sweet scent and force myself to not look at him and admire his eyes or the muscles in his arms that showed through the thin button-up shirts he wore everyday with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Whenever I had to look at him, I just looked at his glasses because there was nothing captivating about them. In fact they took away from the brightness of his eyes.

I was doing well at avoiding him. I still wanted to mouth off to him in class whenever he got something wrong. He started figuring out when he made his own mistakes and began correcting himself considering I wasn't beating him to it anymore. I felt sluggish everyday, and I felt like the life was being drained out of me more and more every time I went into English now. I hated it; English was my strongest subject and because of this asshole that I'd grown infatuated with it was my most dreaded class of the day.

"Miss Williams." I stopped dead in my tracks one day after class when Hemmings called me that name that he always did when we were around the other students, my stomach turning over.

I approached his desk cautiously, stopping and readjusting my bag on my shoulder. "Professor, it's Wednesday. We don't have a tutoring session today."

"I know," he said. He put the eraser for the board down as the last couple students filed out of his classroom. "I have a question for you."

"You know that I already understand everything in the class. The only reason I still have those tutoring sessions with you is because my grade is still at a B- and my parents won't let me stop until it's back up to an A." I couldn't think of any other reason he'd be holding me after class to discuss something with me. This certainly made avoiding him a bit harder.

"I know you do," he said. "I just can't help but notice a change in your attitude."

Shouldn't he have noticed that before? Why wouldn't my attitude change?

"Why have you stopped correcting me and making snide remarks?" He asked.

"It's inappropriate." I used his own words and turned around and walked out of his classroom without looking at him.

-

Blair for some reason seemed insistent to get coffee that weekend with me and I knew it was because Eleanor and Eileen sent her to talk to me. I still wasn't going to open up.

The conversation was light and fun and I laughed with her and was actually enjoying myself at first, and then she asked a question that confirmed my suspicions about El and Eileen.

"Daisy, we all have noticed a bit of a change in you again," Blair said. "I don't want to be up in your face about it, but I promise you can tell me anything and I won't judge you or anything."

I shook my head. "It's really nothing. I just made some mistakes that I'm trying to move on from is all."

"We're here for you and we want to help you," Blair frowned. I felt bad because she was so small and innocent and I knew she only wanted to help me. But there was no way I could tell even Blair what happened.

"I don't want to bother you guys with my personal problems," I said. "Really, it's nothing and I'd rather not talk about it or get into it. I'm sorry Blair."

"Okay." She sighed.

"Tell me about you and Karen," I said.

-

A/N: I'm ON TIME HALLELUJAH

okay I know this is probably really annoying but I know there's a lot of ghost readers in this story and if you really enjoy it please vote or leave a comment! It would really mean a lot to me and I do read every comment even if I don't reply to them! thanks so much for reading xx