Room 206 - Luke Hemmings

twenty-five

I stayed quiet in English.

Out of the ordinary for me, I know. But I knew by the way Hemmings looked at me when I walked in that I was walking on thin ice with him. I sat down in my usual spot, immediately pouting.

Eleanor had no idea, and she didn't seem to be catching onto my mood, but I was grateful for that. I didn't want to explain it to her and have her think some negative thought about me fucking around with my professor when it had already been rumored before and now it was true.

Hemmings didn't pick on me at all during class. I didn't give him an opportunity to give me detention because I kept my mouth shut and took notes. The flow of my usual sarcastic and snide remarks had seemingly stopped completely; my mind was too wrapped around the worry of what bomb Hemmings was going to drop on me this time.

Whatever his response was going to be, I knew it wouldn't be a corny fairytale ending. It never is.

"Miss Williams, a word?" Hemmings asking me to stay after class surprised me but didn't at the same time.

"I'll catch up," I said to El, who nodded and left as I approached his desk.

"Go wait in my office please." He didn't even look at me.

I walked into his office, shutting the door behind me and sitting down at the chair in front of his desk. By now, I knew what was coming.

A few minutes later, he walked in and didn't even sit down. He paced the room a couple times, then stopped and leaned against the desk in front of me, crossing his arms and looking down at his feet. I smacked myself in my face mentally for noticing how good he looked today just like every other day, but knowing that this time I wouldn't be getting my way.

After a few minutes of silence, I couldn't take it anymore.

"I know what you're going to say," I said quietly.

Hemmings looked up at me from his feet finally, questioning me.

"You're going to tell me it was a mistake and that it won't ever happen again," I said. "That you can't have that type of relationship with a student and that what I did was wrong and that I deserve to be punished for it, and not in a sexual way."

He sighed, and when he didn't say anything back was when I shed my first tear for this prick that I'd somehow managed to get strong feelings for over the school year that I swore I wouldn't.

"And you know what the worst part is?" I continued. "I know you have feelings towards me too. Maybe not as strong as mine towards you, but I know they're there. And believe me, what I did was wrong, but you shouldn't have let it happen. You should have just send me to Headmistress Morris's office and ended it there instead of playing with my feelings."

He still said nothing to me, so I stood and grabbed my bag, walking out of his office without saying another word. I used the sleeve of my cardigan to wipe my tears from my cheeks, and stopped by the bathroom before I went to the girls again.

I stared at myself in the mirror. I wiped my eyes one more time, swore I'd hold myself together and put on a fake smile for the girls.

-

I found myself in the library on Saturday studying instead of hanging out with the girls. I felt bad about turning them down but the last thing I wanted to do was go out with them and pretend to not be sulking in my mistakes and misfortunes.

How could I have been so stupid? Of course he couldn't have something like that with a student. I'm a silly little eighteen year old with raging hormones that just wants to hop on everything that walks, or so they say. Sure, I enjoyed what happened between Hemmings and I but fuck if it didn't hurt now.