A World Of Guilt - A Sophfitz Fanfiction {Complete}

~ b r o k e n ~

Fitz Vacker laid in his bed, gazing aimlessly at his bedroom ceiling.

He'd never thought that he would appriciate it as much as he did now.

After months of living in Alluveterre, one of the Black Swan's hideouts, he couldn't believe how his perception of his home had changed.

The guest room that was where Sophie had spent her first night in the elvin world, and yet it was the same room that everyone spent the night in on what seemed like their final day, before they went to join the Black Swan?

The parlor in the left side of the house, the one where he vaguely remembers playing with Alvar when he was a kid. Not too long ago he would have dismissed the memories without a second thought. Now the memories rip through him like sharp hooks, recalling that Alvar would always let him play hero while he acted as the villain.

And all the other rooms he would mindlessly pass, not truly taking them in. After all the time he spent away from it, he wanted to engrave every detail of it into his mind, so he could recall it when he was eventually ripped away from home again. He wanted to store all of his memories of his family close to him. 

Of Alden, his father who worried so much while telling those he loved not to. Of Della, his beautiful, strong mother who would follow him anywhere for his safety. Of Biana, his talented, smart and elegant little sister, who was the most annoying, but yet the best sister he could ever ask for. And of Alvar-

Alvar.

Fitz shook the thought from his head an forced it into the back of his mind as he turned to memorize the familiar view from his bedroom window.

The golden gates of Everglen glowed in the distance, behind them a lush forest grove as far as his eyes could see. The night sky glittered darkly above, tiny pinpricks of light shining in a sea of darkness.

His eyes rested on one particular star. Valkonian. He recalled from his classes at Foxfire. It was a white light star, one that shone pure light. It unnerved him for some reason. And then he wondered.

How could it be that everyone on the planet Earth looked at the same stars?

The Ancients from the thousands of years the elvin world had lasted, a newborn baby who just left the hospital, the elves the trees in the Wanderling Woods used to be. The members of the Black Swan, the ones of the Neverseen. He thought deeper. 

How could those be the same stars his traitor of a brother looked at? 

How could they stay the same after so much had changed?

 How could they have been the same stars that oh so many years ago, he and the brother that Fitz thought the world of, gazed at?

Why did that brother become a traitor, a member of the Neverseen, the group who brought so much chaos, grief and ruin to the world? 

How could Alvar pretend to console him when he thought Sophie and Dex were dead, when in actuality, he stood there and helped torture them.

 Why did his older brother play a part in hurting so many innocent people?

 How come these stars didn't change, but everything else did?

A warm tear rolls down Fitz's face. He's crying now. Another tear falls, then another, until silent sobs wrack his body. He tries to stop, but he can't. He's so tired of holding it all in. All of the sorrow, and anger, and the all consuming guilt that just won't go away-