For Life - EXO x YOU

XXII - Letting Go

Jae Dee x Chanyeol

Broken glass pieces were lying all over the floor, shining in the dim light of the orange lamp. Chanyeol stepped carefully, leading his feet out of the sharp maze to reach the couch. He sank into it, wiping his beads of perspiration with one hand and holding the remains of the broken crystal vase in another. I never knew it would be so tough, he told himself. Dropping the dead vase to the silent carpeted floor, he leaned back to stare at the dark ceiling. Sighing, he allowed a lone tear to make its way out of his closed eyelids. His thoughts pranced like waves in his head. He always believed in her. He held up the white envelope which read "To Chanyeol, with love". Inside he found a pale brown note which said "As you read this note, I would already be on my way. I will miss you, but you know what this means to me. Take care". Glancing at their smiling picture hanging on the wall, his mind flew a thousand miles into the past.
She loved him of course, he knew it too. But her dreams were more important. It had not been an easy road to take for Jae Dee to take. She worked at the café at nights, saving up every penny. She also played the role of a tourist guide showing people around on weekends to make some extra money. Every opportunity she found to earn or save, she grabbed them with both hands. She saved money like the ants saved grains before the rains. Jae Dee had mentioned this to Chanyeol many times when they were dating. She would move to Boston once she got admission, if she did. It was far too important to her. And when she finally got her admissions into the college she worked so hard for, there was really nothing left to say. Chanyeol wanted her to get what she wanted. He admired her perseverance. She reminded him of a spider weaving its web again and again, every time it slipped. "Success does not come to you. You go to it." Jae Dee deserved it, every bit.
But he deserved her too, dint he? He knew in the corner of his heart that he could never move somewhere else. Once Jae Dee left, she would never come back. His ailing mother needed him. Chanyeol lost his Dad a few years ago. He was all his mother had. She had taken ill ever since his Dad passed away. Chanyeol juggled many jobs, barely making enough to pay the rent of the house and for his mother's medicines.

"Together was a wonderful place to be." When he was with Jae Dee, his world came alive.
His heart longed for those magical moments that rose like bubbles in the air, when they were with each other. The comfort of cradling her in his arms, the sparkle of her laughter at his silliest jokes, the ease of being with each other, without saying a single word. In her presence, he felt circled by her strength of her love and drawn to her like a magnet. Almost every meeting of theirs began with mounted passion and ended with a gratification of their souls. They often held hands and sat down on the sands of the serene beach, waiting for the moment to freeze in time forever. They were perfect together, but it wouldn't last long.

Chanyeol's mind slowly dragged itself back to the present. He took the envelope to his lips and planted a kiss on its dull white cover. Placing it carefully inside his cupboard, he straightened himself to look in the mirror. He did not like what he saw. But what he saw was the truth.
He had to face it. "There's a difference between goodbye and letting go. Goodbye is I'll see you again when I am ready to hold your hand and you are ready to hold mine. Letting go is "I'll miss your hand. I realised it's not mine to hold, and I will never hold it again!" Running his hand through his thick black hair, he walked towards his mother's bed. It was time for her medicines.

"I thought your touch would transform me

But it made me

Realize who I am."

–END–

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