For Life - EXO x YOU

IV - HER

ANGELIKA X CHANYEOL

It's embarrassing. To have such strong feelings towards someone I barely even know. It's pathetic.... But, it makes me smile. Chanyeol makes me smile. He doesn't know it but every time I see him or he sees me, I get butterflies. I feel as if I'm on top of the world and can't be taken back down. He makes me so happy... I love him.

His smile is just so amazing... all of his teeth show when he does. I can't help but to stop and take a second to let it sink in. His voice is like a harmony, deep and expressive. And his laugh, oh, his laugh, it melts my heart. Once he's done, I just wanna hear it again. Just one more time. I love him....

I talked to Chanyeol for the second time today. The bell had just rung to go to 7th period and I was sat in the lunch room, on the wall, next to the wide, almost corridor like, walkway. I had seen my friend Chen and decided to wave. He didn't seem to notice me, so I waved again. In the corner of my eye I see Chanyeol.... He was just a few steps in front of him. I'm hoping and wishing with every bone in my body that he thinks I'm waving at him. He does. He waves. How could he say "hi Angelika", he doesn't even know my name.

I was completely shocked at first, didn't know what to do. Like an idiot, I kept waving. But he kept waving too as he got closer to me. The next thing I know, my body stands up and I'm ready to start walking with him. I almost freeze. Then, very awkwardly, I say "hi" he says it back, I repeat, he repeats, I repeat again, and he does too.... How could I have been so awkward? I pulled my arm back and stopped waving to then go through my hair very shyly. He walks by, taking a little look back at me, but it didn't stop him.

After 7th period I go to the bathroom. There's only one class left for the day. I take my time, knowing that he'd be walking with his friend, Minseok to class which was the same class that I am in. They take a little while, they talk a lot. I come out of the bathroom hoping to get just a glimpse of him. I do.... He was saying goodbye to his friend. I took a couple more steps, my heart sank...it wasn't Minseok he was with but a girl... he hugged her.... He had talked to Chen before over messaging how he thought they would start dating (Chen and Minseok are his friends and I share the same friend with him; Chen. That's our only connection). I wanted to forget about what he said so badly, and I still do....
The more I look at her, the more jealous I become. She's perfect. She's smart, nice, beautiful, short (which guys love, I'm usually the same height as them, so yeah...), motivated.... She's the "perfect" girl. I wish I could be her for a day... or at least have him for a day. Yeah.... Just him. I want to know that he cares about me; I want to know he wants me; I want to know he loves me.... But he doesn't.
He loves her....